My father married my mother and created three children with her. She was pregnant with me when they married, but she denied it and I never told her that I had proof. Why hurt her with that information? When we children were 6, 4, and 2, my father decided he liked my mom's best friend better, so he left us for her. He married the friend, divorced her and started coming around us again claiming in front of us children that he wanted to reunite our family. At some point he abandoned us again and left the state.
Then, my mother saw him in the grocery store carrying a baby. He had returned, remarried the friend, had a baby with her, but hadn't told anyone. He wanted to re-establish some sort of relationship with my sisters and me. That relationship turned out to be us watching him with his new family and seeing all the things he provided for his new daughter that my sisters and I did not have.
When I was 16, I'd had enough and never consented to see him again. He didn't bother to attempt to make contact. This is where you, Dr. Laura, come in. I once felt guilty for abandoning him. I believed his wife was pressuring him to sever his relationship with his previous children. You made me realize not only did I have a right to avoid this situation with his new family, but as the adult, it was HIS responsibility to maintain contact, which he never attempted to do.
When my aunt discovered he had died over a year before and told me, I searched his obituary online. It stated he only had one child...hers. Because of you, I was not hurt. I actually found it amusing.
I'm now 58 years old and have a wonderful husband to whom I am completely devoted. We have no children, just a very spoiled dog. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Please know you do make a difference by healing ancient hurts.
Love and kisses...
Jean
