My radio was tuned to a "feminista" host interviewing the author of a cookbook promoting the virtues of having home cooked meals with the family. It really reminded me of the training that most women got from the Betty Crocker cookbook and home economics classes on basic cooking skills prior to the women's liberation movement in the 1970's. They were discussing strategies on getting their teenage children involved in preparing and eating home cooked meals.
They were also discussing how this "revolutionary" cookbook could bring families together. As a first step, they suggested having one family meal together a week. I was mentally shouting at them, "Your children's values reflect those you taught them by the age of eight. You can't wake up when they are sixteen and expect something different. If you don't value home cooked meals and sharing meals with your children when they are five, you can't be surprised they don't value home cooked meals and sharing meals with you when they are teenagers.
This brings me to my definition of "values". A person's values are measured solely by where they spend their time and money. Lips may flap in the wind, but the true measure of values can be objectively tracked how people spend their time and money. If you spend all of your time at work while not having time to nurture your children, then your career is more important than your children. Your children aren't that important. If you don't have time for your spouse, then your spouse is not that important. Don't be surprised to discover that when you are too busy to be involved in the life of others, you later discover they are too busy to be involved with you. As a side note, my wife was a stay-at-home mommy. Since we live in a relatively affluent area where most of their classmates lived in dual income families, we knew they would eventually try the "but Bobby has..." manipulation. Before they ever met Bobby, we told them different families have different ways of doing things.
Gary
