Dr. Laura Blog

It’s unbelievably difficult to teach kids values these days because they don’t often see those values operating around them. People running for the highest offices in the land tell blatant lies without shame of getting caught, and some of the biggest “role models” actually give us very little to look up to. The only way to turn the tide is to teach our kids to be better.  

Here are 5 values you absolutely must teach your kids:

1. Telling the truth. The best way to encourage truthfulness in your kids is to be truthful yourself. When your kids hear you lying, you are essentially giving them permission to lie as well. You can promote the value of honesty further by rewarding your children when they demonstrate it.

2. Making amends. It’s not enough to simply own up to a mistake. Kids will do that just to make something go away (plus, getting them to say, “I’m sorry,” is relatively meaningless when you’re grabbing them by the arm and forcing them to say it). “Sorry” is a nice start, but what really matters is repairing the situation. How can I make it better? How can I make amends with the person I’ve hurt? When you know your child did something wrong, don’t corner him or her by asking, “Did you do _______?”. Instead say, “I know you broke the potted plant. When you’ve done something wrong, my expectation is that you come to me and we figure out how to make it right.” That should be the focus - making it right.

3. Taking on challenges. Avoiding excessive praise and providing gentle, honest feedback makes kids more determined to try hard. Congratulate their effort when they do something particularly tough or challenging, and point out when they have and haven’t done their best.

4. Being considerate of other people’s feelings. It’s a burden to put yourself aside and care for someone else. Yet, it’s also a moral obligation. Teach your kids that life is nothing without caring about others.

5. Showing affection. Being affectionate takes 10 seconds - a hug, a kiss, a note in a lunchbox, an “I love you”, a word of encouragement. Demonstrate to your children that other people matter more than whatever else is going on.