Dr. Laura Blog

When faced with rejection, many people crumble, quit, or put on a pseudo-brave face, saying, “I didn’t want that person/job anyway.” However, a mentally and emotionally strong person admits the truth. “Damn this hurts.” “I feel awful.” “I’m embarrassed.” “I’m disappointed.” If you don’t face up to your emotions, then you can’t fix the situation.

Here are 6 tips for bouncing back from rejection:

1. Don’t have a pity party. Rejections can be an event, or you can make them your identity for the rest of your life. People who are good at bouncing back don’t go into the “never” - “I will NEVER get another job,” or, “I will NEVER find another friend.” A rejection is not the end of the world.

2. Don’t let failure define you. Just because someone doesn’t want you doesn’t mean you’re unloveable. I’m sure there have been people you haven’t wanted, not because there was anything wrong with them, but because they simply didn’t jostle your molecules. So don’t define who you are by an event or even a series of similar events.

3. Be kinder to yourself. When you’ve been beaten up, there’s no need to beat yourself up even more. Look in the mirror and admire that even though you’re unhappy, uncomfortable, disappointed, miserable, and/or hurt, you ain’t quitting.

4. Learn from the rejection. Ask yourself, “What could have I done better?” Whether it was your fault or not, ask yourself what you could have done differently.

5. Give yourself time to recover. Giving yourself time to recover from the hurt feelings allows you to be revved up for the next time.

6. Have the attitude that it’s going to get better. If you approach something with a good attitude, it’s most likely going to turn out better.