Dr. Laura Blog

Somebody dumped you. It happens. You’ve dumped people, and others have dumped you. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad, unworthy, or unlovable person. It just means that, to that person, you weren’t a match.

So, instead of agonizing and beating yourself up, here are 9 things you should do after a breakup:

1. Cry your eyes out. You’re going to feel depressed, angry, frustrated, and hurt. Take a few days to decompress. Suffer, cry, whine, and moan. Get all that angst out of your system. Treat yourself well. You might need to take a few days off work or school because you’re not going to function properly.

2. Turn off your phone and computer. The last thing you need to do is make a stupid call or do something foolish on the Internet out of hurt and anger.

3. Change your routine. Make sure you don’t run into them.

4. Do some self-discovery. Take a long, hard look inside yourself. Was this even a good relationship for you? Did you behave appropriately? What you learn about yourself will make you a better person and a better match for someone else down the line.

5. Reconnect with friends. In many relationships, people make the mistake of ignoring friends, only calling them when there’s a problem. If you’ve been a sucky friend and let friendships go by the wayside, it’s time to apologize and reconnect.

6. Talk it out. Whether it’s a parent, sibling, or close friend, find someone who is willing to listen.

7. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Relationships sometimes make us put off dreams, goals, and intents to learn something or go somewhere. Think of all those plans - it’s time to make them happen. Travel far or near. Take up art. Volunteer. Trying something you’ve always wanted to do is a great distraction.

8. Start doing things alone. Shop, see a movie, or go to a concert. Learn that you can survive alone.  

9. Don’t date again too quickly. Meet new people, but don’t be stuck in the longing for a relationship that you just jump and rebound.

Breaking up is tough. Everybody does it a little differently and at their own speed. However, in the long run, it will be good for you.