Dear Dr. Laura,
The best thing to do with an extramarital crush is: RUN! Run *away* from the crush, ASAP. I didn't, and it nearly cost me everything. My crush was a much-older, understanding, fatherly, respected church leader. I was 28, in his support group for "adult children of dysfunctional families." It took only a whisper in my ear to ignite the crush. I should have run for the hills, changed churches, and never let it become a "thing" that wreaked havoc in my life for years, mainly because I involved myself in activities where this person would be. These were activities that were good and positive, what a good "cover" for me!
Then my husband found out. The crush did, too. I lost a friend when I confided in her. I nearly lost my husband, family, and all that was precious to me. Time and distance sorted out my crush. It was a monster in my head, scaring and confusing me for years. The monster lived and thrived, so long as I sought the crush out, even for a glimpse. When I finally put distance between myself and anything near the crush, the monster in my head went away.
Nowadays I'm focused on being my husband's girlfriend and my 4 kids' mom. I spend every day focusing on what I can do, to make sure my husband is happy he is married to me. We are not perfect, but better and more mature than we were when we first married. Thinking of this time in my life isn't easy and I feel a little sick. But if it helps just one listener, then it's good.
Keep up the good work Dr. Laura. Thank you for the preaching, teaching and nagging that changed my life.
Sincerely,
Margaret
