Dr. Laura,
My husband and I have a 20-year-old daughter and a son who is 18 years old.
My husband is a sensitive, compassionate, caring, giving, selfless man. He regularly goes beyond the call of duty to care for others without expecting anything in return: We have seen him stop in a snowstorm to pull someone out of a drift; he goes to help my friends who have car trouble when their husbands cannot get there; he volunteers weekly at a nursing home; and I watched him feed ice to his dying grandmother and wipe her brow. He also treats me like a queen: He washes my car, he opens doors, and he goes with me on errands at times "just to be with you". He has taken the kids on "dates" to do something that they like to do. He treats our daughter and me like ladies and expects the same out of our son.
Yesterday, our daughter came home from college. We inquired about a boy who we knew was interested in her. She replied, "He's annoying." When asked to expound, she gave several examples, but this one hit home: One day at school, her bicycle tire needed air. She didn't have a pump so she called this young man. He met her at her bike, sat his pump down next to it, and said, "We would have to be more than friends for me to do this for you." She proceeded to pump up the tire while wondering if he really thought she would date him so she could get her tire pumped up. After hearing that, the first thought that went through my head was how grateful I was that she was able to see this as a "red flag". Just as quickly it hit me, and I turned to my husband and said, "He doesn't treat her like her Daddy does!" She doesn't even have to date a guy to be able to see the lack of quality. I take no credit except that I chose my man wisely and gave her a wonderful father. She knew her dad would have been on his knees pumping up that tire and that is why she stepped back to let this guy do it. He noticed, and did not rise to the occasion.
I later said to my husband, "We don't need to worry about her, she is going to choose a great guy and it is because of you. She's going to choose a guy who treats her like a queen, just like her Daddy."
Sherrie
