|
11/17/2014
My wife and I have always stressed to our two boys that learning to lose is just as important, if not more so, than learning to win. Your success is measured based on how you handle yourself in either scenario. So, I reluctantly agreed to coach my oldest son's soccer team this year as no one else would take on the role. I did not really feel qualified, but also did not want the team to remain coach-less.
The team first met me and each other about fifteen minutes prior to our first game. I didn't have a plan, so I just started talking. When I asked them if they knew the most important part of the game, they responded with a robotic and depressing "Yeah, having fun", which I could tell had been pounded into their heads from an early age. What I said next surprised me as much as it did the team. "No, winning is the most important thing" came out of my mouth with an apparent confidence that was not yet in my head.
I then told the players I had no idea how good this team was compared to the other teams in the league and could not assure them that we would win any of our games on the scoreboard. "That's why," I said, "it is important for each of you to set personal goals and measure your success based on what you can control, not simply the final score." I also told them I didn't care if they had fun during the game, but wanted them to enjoy the game by working hard and learning something about themselves. Once that first game was over, the scoreboard said we lost, but each player ended up proudly describing to the rest of the team how they had "won" by meeting his own individual goal.
We have gone on to win, lose and tie on the scoreboard, but some of our most significant victories have come from the toughest games, in which the average observer would cringe when looking at the final score. Coaching this team has been a growing experience for me and it has been a joy to see each of these kids focus on and learn how to win, each in his own way.
Sam
|
