Dr. Laura,
I always want to write to you but never know quite how to put what I'm thinking into words, so I hope this will make sense.
I started thinking about my favorite smell and realized how much scent says about a home.
I took piano lessons from a nice elderly woman for a couple of years when I was about 8. Her home always felt so comfortable and homey to me. I remember her house always smelled a little bit like a Sunday dinner, a nice “roast and vegetables cooking” kind of smell.
My mom hated it. She hated it when homes "smelled". She would often comment about the way we smelled when we came home from friends’ houses. She looked down on people whose homes had a smell. Frequently, we weren't allowed to cook because it would make the house smell like a certain food. I remember once when I burned some popcorn in the microwave, and I was in serious trouble for making the house smell. It was so important to her that our house never smell, in a snobbish sort of way.
There was nothing really homey about our house (including the constant tension created by my parents’ fighting and yelling) and consequently, we didn't want to be there. Our house was never really a great place to hang out with friends, either. She put so much effort into ensuring that our house never smelled to impress people that, ironically, people never wanted to be there.
Now I am a stay-at-home mom with a 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, and six month old baby boy. I enjoy cooking delicious meals. I love it when my husband comes home and says "All right! Meat loaf tonight!" because he can smell it when he walks in the door. If people come over and the scent of dinner or homemade banana bread is still lingering, they usually just comment about how delicious it smells. Maybe my house has a little bit of a funny smell that I'm sure my mom would have detested, but I love it. My kids love it. My husband loves it. My house is a homey house. I always want my house to smell like there is good food in the oven!
Thank you for all that you do! You have helped me be a great wife and mother.
Candiss
P.S. My mother's home is still scent free, but it's also grandchild free most of the time (two out of five kids have no relationship with my parents anymore). You reap what you sow I guess.
