I have been single for 20 years after leaving a difficult marriage of 29 years. I stayed in the marriage until my children were raised, through college, and dating the people they eventually married. I did not choose wisely and it took a while to work through that as I found early on I kept meeting the same self-centered personality.
It was easy to meet men to date as I am outgoing and reasonably attractive, but I found by giving them what they wanted - a sex partner - that any potential growth in the friendship came to a halt and from then on, it was just physical. So I set the standard there would be no sex until marriage. When the guy moved on, I knew I did the RIGHT THING!
For a year, I have been dating a man who said he wasn't sure he wanted to remarry after his wife died, but he is still seeing me, knowing I am holding true to my word. He brought me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. He gave me more flowers for my birthday and told me he is falling in love with me. He will bury his deceased wife's ashes in two weeks. He says he is changing his mind about marriage and that maybe it could be a good idea. I am not in a hurry, giving him plenty of time to think about it and sending him home when cuddling gets too heated. He is kind, generous, helpful, a good conversationalist. We love working together on our various projects. He's building an airplane; I upholstered the seats. I needed help hauling my huge Nativity Collection to a church to be showcased at Christmas and he was the "grunt" man for the entire project, with not one complaint!
I feel sorry for people who feel the road to love is below the waist when the true path is between the brain and the heart coupled with a bunch of common sense and old fashioned moral values. Oh, by the way I just turned 74 and he is 78, but sometimes we act like teenagers.
Lelia
