Dr. Laura:
As my "marriage mentor," I just had to share with you a tender exchange I had with my husband this morning.
His job has been really stressful lately - layoffs left him understaffed and now he works in his office, all day, by himself, which means some days he doesn't speak to anyone for the entire eight hours of his work day. I'm currently out of work, so I am extra appreciative of the sacrifices he is making to support the two of us. I've been making a special effort to be a loving and supportive wife while he's going through this hard time. I put notes in his lunch, send him encouraging text messages throughout the day, prepare his favorite meals when he gets home... All the things I've learned from you, Dr. Laura.
We have only one car, so once or twice a week I drop him off at work so I can run my errands (I don't like to do this in the evening because that cuts into our time together).
I was surprised this morning when he asked if I would drive him to work again even though I had the car all day yesterday. While we drove, I asked if there was anything he wanted me to do, thinking there must be a reason he wanted me to have the car, but he said, "No, I just wanted to be with you. I like it when you take me to work." A few minutes later he was holding my hand and we were just listening to the radio when he said, "I know we still haven't been married long, but I just don't see how people can complain about marriage. I love being married to you."
It really is true that when I make an effort to be his girlfriend, he makes me feel as weak in the knees as he did when we were dating.
Thank you for all of your advice. Your books are so perfectly named; marriage really does take care and feeding. I'm glad I figured that out in my first year and a half and not ten years from now when it might be too late.
Bekky
