Parenting

Extra-CurricularActivities Can Pose Extra Stress on Families By Jody Johnston Pawel It is a common issue#133;we want our kids to spend their non-school timewisely, but they often watch more TV than then we would prefer. Inspite of activities to structure their time we have to look at otherways to keep kids busy so they are not caught in the TV trap. Parents are wise to limit kid's TV watching to a couple of hours eachday. It's a difficult limit to stick to, but if parents can establishthis habit early on, it's easier. Selective TV watching preventschildren (and adults) from turning into couch potatoes with witheredbrain cells. Many parents turn to activities to keep their kids busy. They oftenlive in their cars and have forgotten what their spouse looks like.Parents fall into the over-scheduling trap for variety of reasons. Thefirst motive is the healthiest and the last is the most damaging: Parents want their childrento use their time wisely, but accidentally take on too much. Children want to doeverything. Parents don't want to disappoint them or hear endlessnagging, so they let them. Parents keep children busyso they won't get into trouble, instead of teaching children how tomake planned responsible decisions to be "good" children. Some parents want theirchildren to experience every opportunity - all at once, which isoverwhelming. Now and then, parents expecttheir children to be super-achievers, whatever the cost. To determine whether your family'sschedule needs to be scaled back, ask, "Does my child want to do allthese activities or do I want them to?" When parents register childrenfor activities without asking children first, it's a huge red flag thatparents need to back off. If children want to do everything, think"moderation" and remember that responsible parents do not give childreneverything they want. The reality is that when anyone adds too many kettles to the fire, theyare bound to get burned out. Over-scheduling often affects children'sschoolwork, quality family time and increases the stress levels of thechildren and parents involved. The long term result of over-schedulingis a generation of stressed-out workaholics who don't know how to setpriorities, say "no," focus on one task, and have balance in theirlives. What? WE are part of a generation of stressed-out workaholics? Then we need to break the cycle.nbsp; Children need "down time" asmuch as adults do. They need time to play and just be a kid - eventeens. Will they get bored? Probably. But they need to learn how to usetheir imaginations to handle boredom creatively and responsibly. To regain control of your family life and reduce scheduling stress,establish a policy of two activities per season. Have children rotateseasonal activities or reach one goal, then strive for another. Also,families need time together when they aren't eating, driving ordiscussing schedules and life-changing issues. Weekly family time isone activity worth scheduling. Setting limits on activities teaches children important skills andvalues that benefit them as adults. They learn how to budget their timeand responsibilities and to handle disappointment. These children knowhow to set priorities and concentrate on doing their best at a fewchosen activities. Rarely are activities "once in a lifetime"opportunities. Usually, there is a time and season for every activity.We and our children just need to pace ourselves, instead of racing todo everything all at once. Jody Johnston Pawel is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, second-generation parent educator, founder of The Family Network , and President of Parents Toolshop Consulting . She is the author of 100+ parent education resources, including her award-winning book, The Parent's Toolshop . For 25+ years, Jody has trained parents and family professionals through her dynamic workshops and interviews with the media worldwide, including Parents and Working Mother magazines, and the Ident-a-Kid television series. Jody currently serves as the online parenting expert for Cox Ohio Publishing's mom-to-mom websites and also serves on the Advisory Board of the National Effective Parenting Initiative . Permissiongranted for use on DrLaura.com.