Parenting

Stay-At-Home Checkup Homebodies www.homebodies.org By Cheryl Gochnauer Cheryl@homebodies.org Copyright 2003 If you're like most stay-at-home parents, you put a lot of time and energy into planning your move from the office to home. You lined out reasons for making the change, gathered the support of family and friends, and got your finances under control so you could ease into your new lifestyle. Likewise, you've probably given considerable thought to moving back into the workforce someday, after the kids are older and you're ready to pick up your briefcase again. Great - you've got the past and the future covered. But what about now? Every six months or so, I suggest couples sit down and take an objective look at how things are going. It's very common to go through a honeymoon period when Mom first comes home. You're reconnecting with your children, enjoying time with your husband, and feeling the relief of working a single full-time job instead of two (one at work and one at home). But then the stresses start seeping in. Money gets a bit tight; former co-workers call less frequently. There's no one to relieve you from the colicky baby, the kids are squabbling more than you expected and your husband's focus is once again on projects at work (instead of your adventure at home). You can't seem to get ahead of the housework, or you're all caught up and don't know what to do next. Frustrations build until you realize you're one unhappy mom and Oreos have become your new best friend. Stop! Step away from the Haagen-Dazs and ask a friend or relative to watch your kids for a few hours so you and your husband spend some quiet time together. It's time for a "checklist chat". STAY-AT-HOME CHECKLIST Why are you home? Why does your husband think you're home? What do you love about being a stay-at-home mom? What does heappreciate most about your arrangement? What frustrates you? What is he uncomfortable with? Do you need to revise the way you're handling money? How can your husband help you be more successful as anat-home parent? How can you make him feel more secure? Which friendship would you most like to cultivate? Schedule ablock of time each week when Mom will be "off the clock", free from household and childcare responsibilities. Mark your calendars for another checklist chat in about sixmonths. Comments? Email Cheryl@homebodies.org or visit www.homebodies.org to read more articles relating to at-home parenting. Copyright 2003 Cheryl Gochnauer. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.