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Character-Courage-Conscience
Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceFamily/Relationships - TeensTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconA recent "non-study" purported to conclude that Botoxing the muscles between your eyeballs keeps you from frowning which feeds back to keep you from feeling bad, down, or negative.In other words, if you can't frown, you can't be unhappy!This is so stupid that it makes me wonder if the Botox industry paid this guy to come out with this as a means of changing the view of Botox from "cosmetic" to "injectable" psychotherapy.You wanna be happy for the rest of your life?' Well, you can do that even if all your "emotion" muscles work, and even if you are not particularly attractive.' Anyone walking around in a deliriously joyful stupor just because they got a little plastic surgery is unbelievably superficial to start out with.'A few times a year, I get my frown lines Botoxed, simply because I furrow that line deeper and deeper when I think or concentrate.' It gives the impression to others that I'm frowning, when I'm perfectly content with the universe.' Besides, a furrow that deep takes a lot of makeup to fill in that crevice, so I think of it as a cost-cutting measure too (kidding)!Right now, I'm writing this as I see the sun popping up from behind a mountain.' I am swept away by the majesty of this scene, and grateful that I am alive another day to experience this sunrise. That makes me happy.'' Being happy is mostly about what you choose to take in and what you're willing to give out.'Forget stupid studies about frown lines....they're meaningless against the beauty of a sunrise. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceDepressionMental HealthValues
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Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageParentingSexSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconI've said it many times before:' I admire GRIT.' Smarts and abilities are not enough.' They need to be riveted to grit.'''''''''Grit got Seth Wescott a gold medal in the finals of the men's snowboard cross at the Vancouver Olympics, where many others would have slid into oblivion.''''''''He started out badly.' In his qualifier, he slipped and spun 360 degrees and ultimately ended up ranked 17th out of 32 athletes to start the heats - which meant that he wouldn't get a good lane choice.'''''''''Instead of moaning and complaining, or losing his motivation, he told himself:' "OK, I'm going to have to work damned hard for this."''''''''At the starting gate in the finals, he said something to himself like "You've got to go get this one."''''''''He was last from the start, BUT he managed to come home to Maine, as an Olympic gold medalist for the second time.''''''''He didn't think of anything but the moment and the moves - no looking back with dismay, no beating himself up, and no giving up.' THAT is my definition of an Olympic athlete!And, obviously, I'm writing this story because this is the way you should approach everything in life! More >>

Tags: bullyingCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceParentingPersonal Responsibility
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05/13/2010
IconI got a wonderful email from Sylvia, which I want to share with you all: Dr. Laura:'This is a lesson my mother taught me, but I thought you would approve of her very good advice.'I am a southern "belle."' Though I have lived all over the world and do not possess the characteristic lilting southern drawl, I am, in fact, a belle through and through.' When raised as a girl in the south, you learn (amongst other things) a true appreciation of the beauty and power of words.' We southern girls are thoroughly schooled in the art and craft of words.' We learn, very young, how to paint a picture with words.' We learn to exploit the rhythm and cadence of language.' We speak softly in order to draw in our listener (thus focusing all attention on ourselves).' Really - who doesn't like a whisper?' We speak slowly, because anticipation makes everything more enjoyable.' Really - who doesn't like to be made to wait...just a little?'I will often send my husband an email designed to make the air around him stand still.' I can still make his mouth water with just words.' I can make his mind linger and dwell on me all day, with just a softly spoken sentence as he leaves for work in the morning.' Sometimes, in the afternoon, I'll call him up just to say "I was daydreaming about you just now.' I was remembering how sweet you are and how you still make my heart beat faster."' This is not just some idle exercise.' This is the ultimate investment in my family.' This is what makes my husband anxious to get home to me, even after fifteen years.'Through flirting, I reap a harvest of sweetness, kindness, gentleness and playfulness.' Flirting is a gift we give to each other. It keeps alive the sweetness and excitement of our early dating days.' Flirting is like a gentle touch.' It is stroking the ego of the one you love.' It is titillation pure and simple.' It is foreplay with words and humor.' Flirting is the secret that all other women know.' Flirting is the difference between "ho-hum" and "hot!"' It is something you miss when it's lacking and you often don't even realize it.' Flirting captures the mind, and where the mind goes, the body soon follows.'So ladies, flirt with your husband.' Here, let me help you out:' send an email to the one you love today and simply say "I thought of you today.' I thought that if you were a book, then I would like to read you and re-read you, over and over again."'You see, when you give sweetness, you get so much more back. More >>

Tags: appreciationAttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceDatingFinancesMarriageSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconA few months ago, I saw the movie "The Bucket List." It's about these two older guys who, presumably, are terminally ill, and one of them mentions a "kick the bucket list," meaning that you make a list of all the things you want to do before you die (and then, hopefully, go do them).' The movie is interesting and well done, and well worth seeing.' It stars Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.Since then, I've had some thoughts on and off about the concept, and decided that I don't want to have a bucket list when my time comes close.' I want to do and see and say and experience the things that matter to me waaaaay before they become an almost-Last Supper moment.' So I've been going over in my mind what it is that I would put on that list.' And I'm happy to say......nothing.I wanted an adventure on the high seas, so with a crew of experienced sailors, I'm going to be doing just that in mid-March, when we race from Los Angeles to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico.' It will take about four days or so, and we have to work, sleep, and eat in shifts 24 hours per day of sailing.' It will be grueling, cold, and sometimes scary at night if the winds are up.' The food will be "ucky," and there won't be hot showers or heated blankets.' And yet, I can't wait, because it's an ADVENTURE!' It pushes my limits and challenges me in new ways.' It's good to have adventures, as long as you don't ignore your responsibilities, and enjoy the challenges that are there.Day-to-day experiences and routines can get monotonous - that's just life.' So don't wait.' Come up with your own adventure (camping with the family, training for some physical event or whatever you want) and just do it!! More >>

Tags: AttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceHealthInternet-MediaInternet/MediaPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
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05/13/2010
IconIf you're a frequent listener to my radio program, you've probably heard me say to someone seemingly immersed in a petty annoyance:' "You must have a charmed and uncomplicated life to have the time and energy to be upset about something that's ultimately so minuscule."'Yeah, I know that sounds snarky, but the point is made.' If your life is filled with the awe of the sky when the sun first comes up, scurrying to do some projects for charity, coming up with ideas to support a friend in emotional need, treating your spouse as though you adored every breath they take, having daily physical activity that makes you sweat and feel great afterwards, taking on a new challenge in a hobby or education at the local community college or adult extension, having a day a week you get together with buddies to play poker, make a quilt or whatever....when your life is filled in such expansive ways, then the quirky disappointments of family and friends will be shrugged off with a small smile and a lack of real concern.'Try activity instead of pouting or letting your anger simmer. More >>

Tags: AttitudeBehaviorCharacterCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceGratitudeHealthPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
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05/13/2010
IconLately, I've been asked quite often by callers if it is "okay" to apologize to someone for a wrongdoing even years after the offense.' I can understand why that question might be asked.' It can feel a bit embarrassing to have to face someone and face up to what you've done.' It is worrisome that they might not be gracious about your apology.'' It is possible that they might "lay into you."' It may be that they say "You caused me so much grief and pain that I can't forgive you."' They might not even be willing to talk to you.' Or, they might say, with tears, "Thank you.' That means a lot to me."It IS a big risk to take.' But the most valued things in life do come with a big risk attached.' That's part of what gives them value.You must remember, however, that whatever their response might be, you are doing the apology not to wipe the slate clean (damage is damage, and some never goes away), but because true repentance requires that you do what it takes to repair the damage.' That includes the sincere... sincere ...apology.' None of that "if you were hurt, then I'm sorry" nonsense.' That is pure annoyance!'So, if you truly have remorse (and are not just trying to manipulate someone into a situation which benefits you ), then apologize... anytime ...and tolerate their first and maybe second unpleasant reaction.''Seeds take time to germinate, and coping with an apology means the whole thing is brought up again in their minds.' Be patient and understanding.' While they may never forgive you, know that you still did the right thing. More >>

Tags: BehaviorCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCourtesyForgivenessMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityResponse To A CallValues
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05/13/2010
IconMy birthday was a little over a week ago, and my husband actually got away with setting up a surprise party for me.' I went to the party location under the guise that we were going to use a 'Happy Birthday' coupon for a free dinner.' It was wonderful to see the many people who have meant, do mean, and always will mean something important to me (and the cake and dancing were great too)!I want to mention one particular gift:' a bocce ball set.' I sent out all my gift 'thank yous,' and when it came to the bocce ball set, I said something like ''Thank you so much for the bocce ball set.' I don't know how to play it, but, heck, learning yet another sport is a great idea!' Ha ha ha!'I added the 'ha ha ha' because I hike, I play tennis and badminton, I shoot pool, do yoga, race a sailboat and work out...and do at least one of these daily .' But then I thought about my 'joke' and realized it IS a very good idea to learn yet another 'whatever' all the time.' Part of the joy of being alive (and a large part of what keeps your brain and body healthy and your mood positive) is having purpose in your life and learning something new all the time.People who don't continue to grow, be challenged, learn and be involved in activities tend to 'contract,' have depression problems, and compromise the quality of their aging and actual life span.So, while this blog is not an ad for bocce ball, it is a suggestion (and don't forget who's making it!) for you to constantly challenge yourself with everything from crossword puzzles to chasing butterflies.' The more you are invested in the opportunities of living, the more you will enjoy it and be alert and happy. More >>

Tags: AttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceEat Less-Move MoreEducationExercisegrandchildrenHealthPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeRelativesValues
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05/13/2010
IconGuilt and longing are two very human emotions that often blend into a desperate glue that keeps people stuck in situations they ought not to be in.' Whether it is with family, friends or a prospective spouse, trust that small, smart voice inside of you which repeats the mantra you try to ignore: "This is destructive or dangerous.' Let it go or get out." Decent people feel guilty about pulling away from a relationship because "it will hurt the other person's feelings," and decent people just cringe at the idea of causing another emotional pain.' That's nice, but guilt is a cue that what you're doing is wrong , not that what you're doing is something somebody else just doesn't want or like.' There is no intent to hurt in this situation.' There is only the intent to preserve one's own emotional and physical safety and/or well-being.Longing is a natural condition - i.e., wanting something to be right and good because you've invested in it, and because it is a good thing to want:' a great, happy, healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship is always a blessing.' However, when that is clearly not the case, then withdrawing is the healthiest and, therefore, right thing to do.' It is difficult for people to give up their dreams, but you have to remember that the dream is not the problem.' The current object of that dream is the problem.' Take your dream and plant it where it can actually grow well.Remember, there is no growth without discomfort or outright pain.' Consider growing pains of the emotional sort just a natural course of events as you mature, and make wise decisions.'Choose wisely; treat kindly.' Treating kindly won't work if you haven't chosen wisely. More >>

Tags: AttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConsciencePersonal ResponsibilityValues
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