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Character-Courage-Conscience
Tags: AttitudeBehaviorCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCivilityHealthMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityValues
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05/13/2010
IconI'm just sickened to hear the news that Lori Drew was only convicted on three misdemeanor counts of unauthorized access to computers after she, her then 18 - year-old assistant, and her teen daughter plotted to humiliate a neighbor 13-year-old...who ended up killing herself because of the emotional pain she endured at their fingertips on the computer keys.You've probably heard the story: the young girl committed suicide in October of 2006 after the end of her online relationship with a fictitious 16-year-old-boy created on a fake MySpace account.' According to various news reports, the trio used the account to contact and befriend Megan.' Within a few days, Lori Drew encouraged her daughter and her assistant to on-line flirt with Megan; they planned to lure Megan to a mall to confront her with the hoax and taunt her.As things go and grow, another neighborhood girl got involved in the whole thing and sent Megan a message - as if she were the fictitious boy - that he didn't want to be friends anymore.' Lori Drew's assistant then, according to the District Attorney, wrote, "the world would be a better place without you in it."Twenty minutes later, Megan's mother found her hanging from her belt in her bedroom closet.I'm not a lawyer and I don't really understand all the legal machinations about what criminal behavior this planned cruelty constitutes, but it's clear that there's no real punishment for people who misrepresent themselves on an internet chat site with the INTENT to do emotional harm to a child known to have several psychiatric disorders.' Federal and state laws appear to be mute on this issue, and while companies like MySpace have "Terms Of Agreement" (which is kinda what "caught" Lori Drew, because she didn't abide by those terms), they don't have much in the way of "teeth" - often the most they can do is terminate the service of the offender.Imagine: one mother decided to drive another mother's child to devastating emotional pain as entertainment; she includes her own young teen daughter and a young adult employee....and they all have a great time of it.' No one charged the assistant or the daughter, even though they were all complicit in the intent to do emotional harm.'I hope there is a civil court for something like wrongful death so that these people pay some price for their evil cruelty.Now - add to that the parental responsibility of more supervision of this vulnerable, fragile, emotionally compromised child...her parents had reversed the lock on her bedroom for her "safety," as they were aware that she had problems.' Children without psychiatric issues ought not have unsupervised access to the internet or text messaging or any form of communication without parental oversight.' Children with psychiatric issues are at more risk.'Recently, another teenager, this one 19, overdosed with several medications to kill himself while his computer stayed on so that everyone on the net could watch him die.' There was a huge rageful response to folks waiting 12 hours before reporting this situation to the net site or the police...who came too late.It seems that he'd done this before, so many folks thought he was playing "wolf," others just didn't care, some showed concern, and others just "egged" him on....the same way folks on the ground often "egg on" a person threatening to jump from a tall building.' There are always creeps about.What was curious to me is that the reports of this event include that the boy died in his father's room and on his bed; that he used a combination of prescription and illegal medications.' Again we have a pathetically ill young man without proper supervision by those who could understand and help him.' It sounds like he needed hospitalization.The Internet gives young folks the attention and pseudo-importance they naturally crave.' It is also a conduit for evil...the same way electricity is neutral...unless you try to electrocute somebody with it.Parents have to be less casual about the evil that comes through all these technological marvels of communication. More >>

Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceChildrenFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFamily/Relationships - TeensInternetInternet-MediaInternet/MediaParentingSAHM stay at home momTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconI read this email on the air, but it's so good, I wanted to share it with everyone: Dr. Laura: You gave me a most wonderful 79th birthday present today, in the form of a caller who showed the typical stupidity of the male.' He was married to his second wife for 25 years, and was concerned, because, while he still enjoyed her, he was not sure that he still really LOVED her. I have enjoyed your daily "classes" for years, and have learned much.' But there is one class I believe I am uniquely prepared to present. The ladies learn much about "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" from your book and daily sessions.' You tell the ladies how to work us guys, and of your power over us. Right back at you, my dear!' I have had my magnificent lady eating out of my hands for 57 years, and once in a while, I still playfully remind her that she is just my "first" wife.' You gals aren't all that complicated.' The answer is simple:' as you get what you need or want, you are more willing to give.' That's the same principle you preach to the girls. What does it take?' Really, not much - just a little TLC gets big payoffs.' Try: 1.' FLOWERS - for no special occasion or guilty conscience.' A single rose willWork.' No greater mileage for $1.50. 2."I LOVE YOU" - Tell her or show her at least 10 times every day.' It's easy.' There are so many ways to say it, and even more important, to show it. 3.' COFFEE IN BED - No big deal.' The coffee maker is automatic, and the payoff at my house is BIG.' It always begins with a "thank you" that sounds like it was the first time ever.' She gets this treatment most every day, and if I sleep in, well, then I get to say "thank you!" 4.' REASSURE HER - Tell her how good she is, and back her up every time you can.' She will thank you for it. Does it really work?' YES!' My LADY loves to tell her friends who often bemoan their love lives and multiple "whatever's."' She tells them "The best thing I could wish for you is to be married to my Don for a week." Making love to my 75 year old lady is wonderful, and I have the thrill of making her enjoy her sex. (Wow.)' My greatest honor was to be invited into her body so long ago.' She was all mine at 18 and still is.' As the subtle changes came along in her life and body, I was happy, because I knew that I was part of each of them.' She still has great looking "boobs" and a beautiful behind.' I love handing her the towel as she steps out of the shower with that great welcoming smile. Tomorrow, after breakfast of coffee in bed at 6AM with toast, fruit, and melon, I plan to "have my way" with her once again.' And I have a rose that says it will work! The luckiest guy you will ever hear from, Don P.S.' Thanks for being there when we really needed your guidance. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageQuote of the WeekSexSexualityValues
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05/13/2010
IconAsked by the Pew Research Organization why they choose to eat so much junk food, the respondents overwhelmingly say it's due to its convenience.' The second most common reason is junk food's good flavor, and the third reason is because it is so heavily advertised.' Fourth is its affordability, and the final reason why people eat so much junk food is "ignorance of food values."' Yeah, I really believe that last reason!Since approximately three-quarters of the respondents eat junk food out of convenience, it seems a good time for them to re-work their lives so that breakfast and dinner are family meals at home, and lunch is considered a lighter repast to keep the engines going during the day.Want to really relieve stress?' Take off your figurative plate all the overscheduling - running around with too many activities and piling on too many responsibilities.' Two-career homes leave little time for the lovely, "home-y" amenities.' Rethink your lives and you'll probably live longer, while being healthier and happier.' Having lots of personal possessions and living beyond your means is a disastrous recipe for stress that leads to all kinds of self-destructive behaviors. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceHealthSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
Icon"Beijing officials have distributed 4.3 million copies of an etiquette book, outlining rules on good manners and foreign customs, including rules about what not to wear," according to The Wall Street Journal (8/1/08)' "Among the no-nos:' more than three color shades in an outfit, white socks with black shoes, and pajamas and slippers in public." It should be interesting for the Chinese citizens who obey these rules to see the foreigners in sweat pants, jeans and flip-flops.Another issue for the Chinese government is the crackdown on any protesting during the Olympics.' China just doesn't want to look bad to the almost half-million tourists who are there for the festivities.' According to the Associated Press, probably several thousand Chinese protestors have already been locked up for the duration so they don't behave "inappropriately."' Also, protestors had to apply for permission to demonstrate some five days in advance and had to acknowledge that they would not harm national interests.' They were supposed to be relegated to one of three parks which are several miles from the main Olympic stadium, but in a report on Saturday, August 8 in the Los Angeles Times , the three parks where demonstrators were to be allowed were totally quiet.' There were no signs of protest areas or of protesters, and, according to the Times ,' there were more security personnel than visitors at the parks.' Foreigners who protested over the past week were deported, and the heavy security measures have forced most of the demonstrations to be held in other countries, including Tibet, India, Hong Kong, England, France, and Germany. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConsciencePoliticsSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
IconAndrew Sum of the Center for Labor Market Studies at Northeastern University in Boston predicts that teen summer employment is going to fall to the lowest rate in the 60 year history of government jobs data. That's down from 45% in 2000, and a high of 48.5% in 1989.The reasons for this tightening of the teen summer job market are varied. Because of weakness in the economy, more adults (including unemployed college graduates, older workers, former welfare recipients, illegal immigrants, and working adults seeking second jobs) are competing for low-skilled, hourly posts. The proportion of jobless teens actively looking and available for paying jobs last summer, at 17.1% was nearly four times that of adults ( Wall St. Journal, 4/23/08 ).Idle children are not in the best interests of family, neighborhoods, or society. That amount of non-focused adolescent energy needs a constructive outlet. Individuals as well as businesses all should take on the responsibility of providing at least some sort of hourly work during the summertime for teens; this would provide them structured time, financial compensation, skill building, exercise of the mind and body or both, increased self-esteem, and experiences of a more positive nature than they'd probably have without the work.Another outlet for teens is to come up with some business concept of their own, wherein they provide a service for a business or homeowner. Once concept, described by the founder of Teens4Hire.org , an employment website, was her suggestion to a panhandling skateboarded to start his own business collecting household hazardous waste for recycling. He made $700 hauling paint cans, oil, and other items to a recycling center at $3 per item. Teens can also do grocery shopping or other chores for the elderly or housebound or just darn busy folks - there are lots of ideas just waiting to be brought to life. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceFamily/Relationships - TeensMilitaryTeensValues
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05/13/2010
IconIt is understandable that I have received a lot of inquiries about my reaction to Don Imus' problem, as I am also a radio talk show host (32 years) who has taken flack for "objections" to my point of view.The main problem with Imus' comments is that they were in no way taken out of context - they were a direct assault on a group of women for whom the words did not match the reality.' In fact, as a woman, and as a woman often under public attack, I am so very proud of the statement given by one of the Rutgers University basketball players:'"'I am a woman, and I'm someone's child,' said Kia Vaughn.' 'I achieve'a lot.' And unless they've given this name, a 'ho, a new definition, then'that is not what I am.'' She stood with her teammates, a row of unbowed,'confident women. ( Time, April 12, 2007 )Now that's impressive.However, someone will have to tell me when it was that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson apologized for their verbal assaults on the Duke lacrosse players who were wrongly accused of rape and battery.' When will music stores stop selling Eminem's music, filled with violent, ugly commentary about women and homosexuals?' I want also to know when Rosie O'Donnell will get her last paycheck after commentary declaring that America killed its own on 9/11?' I'm also curious about all the demeaning, misogynistic, crude and violent lyrics in rap music which flourish in music stores and on television.' And gosh, if the ACLU can come out in force to stand behind the Ku Klux Klan and the Aryan Nation, why no peep about Imus?' How is it that [Howard] Stern's career can survive to the hundreds of millions in compensation after his wondering out loud why the Columbine murderers did not rape the girls before killing them?Note:' There are no problems in the African-American community caused by Imus.' Not one.'' Perhaps black leaders might take note of that and focus in on what is really important:' gangs, drugs, and out-of-wedlock children.As for Imus, it would seem his arrogance caught up with him.' His remark was insulting, stupid, mean and ugly.' It was so seemingly "off-the-cuff," that it felt too casually familiar a thing for him to say. More >>

Tags: Character-Courage-ConsciencecourageMorals, Ethics, ValuesSocial IssuesValues
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05/13/2010
Icon"But why should I have to do 'X' when I don't feel like it?"That is by far the single most expressed sentiment to excuse oneself from fulfilling obligations to others. Feelings have been elevated from the mercurial and temporary to positions of absolute truth and power. "I feel that..." is most always used when one actually is expressing thoughts, beliefs, opinions, guesses, and concerns.One of the most typical problems in marriages is not religion, politics or finances - it's the issue of sexuality. For the most part, the pattern is that a man and woman have a great out-of-wedlock sexual relationship, full of passion and spontaneity. Once married, and especially once children come on the scene, too many women "feel" less and less like being their husband's lover and girlfriend. I have talked to hundreds, if not thousands, of women over the more than thirty years I've been on radio, and the story is always the same: "I'm just too tired...or...annoyed to feel like having sex." I ask them what they expect their husbands to do. "Be understanding," they say.I then ask these wives if they would suggest their husbands take advantage of a hooker, Internet porn, or a girlfriend on the side to fulfill their needs for affection and sexual activity. Once I get their attention...I move on to several points: 1. If there is "too much on your plate," cut stuff out. You cannot properly maintain a marital relationship when you leave almost no time and energy for it. That means that full-time jobs, children, a home, and your parents and friends take up your life and leave no room for the man who would give his life for you. This is also a breach of your vows to love and honor. 2. There are lots of things you don't feel like doing - but you do them anyway because you have obligations to others. Your husband doesn't feel like visiting your mother, taking you shopping, listening to your repetitive stories and gripes about your sister, going out for tampons, and so forth - but he does it anyway because he loves you . Imagine a world where everybody only did what they felt like doing??? 3. I never wake up feeling like working out, but I get up anyway. I put on my workout clothes, get some water, and start pumping weights. Once I get started, I feel very good about what I'm doing and how it is impacting my body. Well, once you get into foreplay, you'll probably start getting into it too! That means you need to take a nice shower or bath, use some sweet-smelling perfume or body powder, put on something adorable and start flirting with your man - it won't take long for you TO FEEL LIKE IT! 4. Life is short - never turn down a perfectly good orgasm- on your death bed, you'll regret it. There is hardly a better way to reconnect and reaffirm your love and attachment - this is the ultimate bonding technique. 5. You made vows to "love and cherish," so do it or don't expect much in return. That means, don't call me complaining about no Valentine's or Anniversary present when you haven't treated your man like your man and your lover . If you don't make the effort to make him feel special to you - don't expect it in return. More >>

Tags: CharacterCharacter-Courage-ConscienceMarriageSexSexualityValues
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05/07/2010
IconWHAT MATTERS MOST By Cheryl Gochnauer Like every Tuesday morning, little kids were tossing a football around our front yard, waiting for the school bus to rumble up the street. Like every Tuesday morning, I smiled at them from behind the glass storm door, then turned toward the TV, clicked the remote, and caught the news. The second plane hit the World Trade Center. "Carrie, come here!" I yelled out the front door to my 3rd grader, making her miss the pass. "Wow!" she said, watching the instant replay. Then, "Can I go play?" Man - I wish I could go play. Instead, I'm transfixed in front of the TV, watching the rescue efforts, praying for the missing. My girls seem to be okay. Carrie did ask to sleep with me that night, but since then has been busy planning her birthday party. Her 8th-grade sister, Karen, is studying American History. "That book will have a new cover next year," I remarked. "It'll be a picture of the World Trade Center imploding." We lost more people Tuesday than from Pearl Harbor (2200), D-Day (1500) and the Titanic (1500), combined. It's staggering. So is the response of Americans. I'm a political news junkie, and my stomach has been tied in knots more times than I can count over the past couple of years. Through impeachment, the election and the erosion of religious rights, I've shaken my head, convinced our country was headed for moral meltdown. Then came Tuesday. Amazingly, America leapt up, grabbed her flags and her Bibles and ran to help. Monday, we bickered about taxes and rebates. Tuesday, we flooded New York and Washington with volunteers, money and supplies. Politicians held hands and sang "God bless America" on the Capitol steps. There was an unexpected union of church and state, and our country was better for it. A sad silver lining, I know. But a silver lining none the less. Each of us are now making our way through the stages of grief (defined by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross as denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). We've all been jolted; we all understand how fragile life is, and how precious. Those who read this newsletter every week and visit the website and message boards do so because you love your families, and want to spend as much time with them as possible. Tuesday's events sharpen our resolve to live our lives in such a way that there will be no regrets. As we help others through this tragedy, let's also take this as a universal wake-up call. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. If your heart is calling you home, act. Pay off those bills; put away the charge cards. Bypass anything standing between you and your kids. Those who scoffed at your desire to be an at-home parent last Monday will support you today. As the phone calls from the towers reflected, family is what matters most. (Comments? Email Cheryl@homebodies.org . Or visit her website at www.homebodies.org where you can post messages about the attacks on a special discussion board. Copyright2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.) More >>

Tags: Adult Child-ParentCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceFamily/Relationships - Adult Child/ParentMorals, Ethics, ValuesRead On-AirValues
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Tags: Character, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceValues
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