Listener Leslie wrote: It's almost Valentine's Day, so I wanted to tell you about my sweet husband.' We have been married for over two years, and are now hoping to adopt a baby (you wouldn't believe how long and tedious this process is, but we know it will be worth it!).' He has always supported my decision to be a stay-at-home mother, and we've been saving and planning for two years. Two weeks ago, after a long day at my stressful job, I came home crying.' My wonderful husband told me to quit my job, stay home, and relax so that I am 100% ready to be a mother. Oh, Dr. Laura, what a relief!' Tomorrow is my last day at this job, and every morning for the last two weeks, I have made my husband lunch, and my job is now to make our dollars go as far as possible.' Every night, he has come home to a happy wife, a hug, an "I love you," and a hot meal.' Oh, how he beams! We may not yet have a baby, but I can already say that my husband is his kid's dad, and I am proud to be his wife. More >>

Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows how absurd it is when we hear about some young woman who did not know she was pregnant until the moment at which she is giving birth to a full-term baby.' Preposterous, of course.' Its more like she's not willing to take responsibility.' Well, the February issue of Seventeen magazine focuses on "Shocking Ways You Could Get Pregnant By Accident."' Huh?The cover piece does mention the option of not having sex, and even points out that "studies show that girls who have a big plan for their future are significantly less likely to get pregnant," but the main focus of the magazine article is not about how to avoid sex simply because you feel all tingly and your girlfriends are doing it or the guy tells you that you won't be popular if you don't.' It's mainly about accepting that it'll probably happen, so this is how you talk him into a condom or how you take the pill (which, by the way, does not protect against sexually-transmitted diseases)."...sex is a natural, healthy and fun part of loving relationships."' That is a fact.' What Seventeen does not take an entire issue to explain is that every time you feel butterflies or are hot for someone, it isn't love.' The issue does not spend page after page extolling the virtues of mature awe, respect, admiration, friendship, trust, etc., which take years to develop and can really only take place once you're a mature adult.Surely Seventeen magazine knows that the number one issue for teens is acceptance and fitting in.' To be such a formidable influence in the lives of teens and to be so remiss in cheating them out of the blessings of true intimacy - instead, touting the fulfillment of urges as love justifying sex - is a sad, irresponsible, and disgusting misuse of their power. More >>

Philosophers throughout the ages have contemplated and agonized over what causes people to fall in love.' Sociologists and psychologists have done the same over what causes people to stay in love.' Now neuroscientists are trying to solve both their problems by taking brain scans of folks in love looking for the "cause" of love.The report of their work prepared by the Wall Street Journal (2/8/08) seems to miss the main point.' Looking for brain sites of increased activity in people who after many years of marriage still feel fabulously in love, is not likely due to some abnormal hyperactivity in centers associated with affection or pleasure.' It is the opposite way around.' People who behave consistently in a loving manner constantly stoke the fires of affectionate and passionate love - all which will show up in their brain scans.The couple they "analyzed," the Turners, are described up front: "Ann Tucker is pushing a shopping cart through the produce section of a supermarket in Plainview, N.Y., when she turns to kiss her husband.' The supermarket kiss is a regular ritual for the Tuckers.' So are the restaurant kiss and the traffic-light kiss.' 'I guess we do kiss a lot,' says Mrs. Tucker...Mrs. Tucker is living happily ever after, and scientists are curious why." Why?' That's easy: she and her husband constantly behave like people in love.' Feelings follow behavior and both feed into brain pathways that become "well-worn" through constant activation.So, stop looking for supplements, hormone injections, or implanted brain stimulators, miracles or moonspots.' Instead, behave like a man/woman in love and you'll create what you wish for. More >>

According to the Associated Press ( February 1, 2008 ), remote-controlled explosives strapped to two mentally retarded women detonated in a coordinated attack on Baghdad pet bazaars on Friday, killing at least 73 people.' The women had Down Syndrome.' Considering the explosives were detonated by remote control, they probably were completely unaware that they were to be used as human bombs.' The attacks were most likely the work of Al-Qaeda in Iraq.Associated Press records show that since the start of the war, at least 151 people have been killed in about 17 attacks by female suicide bombers.' Involving women in fighting violates cultural taboos in Iraq, but Al-Qaeda in Iraq is recruiting females to perform suicide attacks because militants are increasingly desperate for volunteers.' Women in Iraq wear the long black overgarments called abayas , and can avoid searches at checkpoints, because men are not allowed to search them, and there aren't enough female guards.' This is an obvious "PC" mistake - this is war, and such proprieties need to be put by the wayside, because people are being murdered.I wish NOW (the National Organization for Women) would spend less time on rants assuring women that murdering the babies in their bodies is some kind of noble "right," and spend their time in the Middle East, protecting women from being used as cannon fodder. More >>

In a never-ending supply of lows, TV's newest contribution to the destruction of dignity, modesty, and compassion is on the Fox Network, entitled " The Moment of Truth ."' The basic concept is to have people admit to immoral, illegal, embarrassing, stupid, crass or just plain dumb behavior while attached to a "polygraph," which purports to determine whether the answer given by the contestant is "truthful."' Truthful answers are rewarded by cash, up to a half-million dollars.' It's sickening to see what some folks will destroy in their own souls and relationships for money - even a lot of money.The New York Times ( January 25, 2008 ) described a scenario on the series' premiere show: 'Ty, a personal trainer, said 'yes' when asked if he has delayed having children because he is not sure that Catia, his wife of 2 1/2 years, would be his 'lifelong partner.'' After he replied, a disembodied female voice delivered the verdict:' 'The answer is....(long dramatic beat) TRUE!'' The camera panned to Catia, who stopped smiling and murmured 'I'm dying here.'' Her friend, April, turned to her and asked in a semi-whisper 'Is it worth $100,000 to learn that?'"Well, financially, it wasn't worth anything because when Ty was asked whether he had ever touched a female client more than was strictly necessary, his "no" was determined by the polygraph to be a lie, and he lost all his winnings This is sick stuff.' All truths ought not to be spoken.There is a new film out with a plot that I believe appropriately condemns society for caving into the basest part of human nature.' There is a "bad" guy who murders people and puts their lingering, torturous death on the Internet live.' The more people who log on....the faster and more horrific the victim's death.' What happens?' Well, more people log on.' The parallel is inescapable.' Shame on Fox, but more so, shame on us. More >>

I sometimes hear from people who think I'm too harsh on my callers.' There are many reasons for the way I deal with someone who calls my program, but my particular approach is always in direct response to what I intuit from the callers themselves.'' Here's an email I got from Morgan, who titled her correspondence "Thanks For Your Advice and for TEARING Into Me!" I called you the other day, and was shocked to hear you for real in my ear!' My question was about why I was complaining about my fianc' a lot lately.' My complaints were about his extra weight, being quiet on road trips, an, lately, his constant wearing of a baseball hat!' You listened PATIENTLY to what I was nagging about, and then you truly laid into me...and well, I really needed it! You told me that I wasn't marrying myself, and if I wanted to be with someone exactly like me, well, marry myself (ha!), but not stay and complain.' You also stated that I was comparing him to me, and that wasn't helpful.' He is his own man - a quiet, baseball hat-wearing man.' Then you said that I should thank him for putting up with me for so long. It is really interesting to me that I have always prided myself on treating others the way I wish to be treated-- my students, my colleagues, my friend--but that I had been treating my own fianc' in a negative, terrible and condescending manner, instead of thanking him every day for coming into my life.' He is the most gentle, generous and loyal person I know, and the truth is I have been feeling crappy about myself and projecting that onto him. Well, I went home and re-read "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives," and got to the part that asks the reader to think about whether they would want their future daughter to be dating their partner.' It really sunk in.I'd love it if my future daughter would be dating someone like my fianc', but I don't think I'd want my future son dating someone like I have been lately! Good wake-up call for me, Dr. Laura.' I've listened to you for eight years.' You are a true voice of reason, morality, and plain common sense in my head! More >>

This piece of advice is from Kathleen's grandmother, who, at 69, has been married for 52 years : "A woman holds all the control in the family.' She is the center of the home.' When she is happy, everyone is lifted, and when she is not, she can drag everyone down with her.' Be generous with your affection, and let the little things go.' And most importantly, if you don't give your husband what he needs, he will look for it somewhere else." Sounds like she was practicing "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" long before I ever wrote the book! More >>

The way to my heart...is through my heart, and the family of Frank King did just that. "King, Frank L., 84, beloved husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, died peacefully in his sleep at his home in North Tustin, California after a lengthy illness." Frank enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1943 and flew missions as a tail gunner, navigator, and radioman in World War II and Korea. For his service, he received numerous decorations and medals.' He had a "Marine" mindset his whole life, always following his credo: "What did we say we would do?' Then do it!"Charice and Ron King, the son and daughter-in-law of Mr. King, contacted us about Operation Family Fund because they knew their beloved father "would be pleased" to have donations made in lieu of flowers.'Mr. King is survived by a huge number of loving family and friends.' And now, because of this request, he is also survived by a huge number of families of fallen military.In just a few days, more than $2000 has been sent to Operation Family Fund (OFF) in Mr. King's respected name and memory.Operation Family Fund and all of us at The Dr. Laura Program are humbly grateful for this gracious thoughtfulness.I would like to offer my personal condolences to the family of friends of Mr. King, who was obviously a remarkable man. More >>

I got these two emails the other day, and they came in almost back to back.' And I'm sad to say that I "get" it.' You're going to be horrified.'Kristen wrote: "My best friend and I were in the car the other day and heard a radio advertisement for a new dating service' (more like a disservice). It isn't your typical dating site, no, no; this site is for those looking to commit adultery. Their slogan? 'When Monogamy Becomes Monotony.' The tab on my internet browser even labeled it 'Married Dating.' Apparently dating these days isn't just for single folks anymore.' The first thing that popped into my head was, 'Boy I wonder how long it will take for someone to call Dr. Laura to tell her how they found this site on their spouse's 'favorites' list.' What a shame! I am proud to say that because of your sound advice and my early commitment to 'The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands,' my soon-to-be husband, of this July, would never consider such a "dating service."' Keep up the GREAT work Dr. Laura.' If anyone can combat the irresponsible use of such a filthy site, it's you!" Well, I thought that was well taken.' But, you see, she read and has committed to' "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands."Then this came in , from a guy whose name I won't give, but after reading this, you'll understand who's going to be calling the "When You're Married" dating site.' He said: I heard, on your show yesterday that this guy stood up to the plate, helped his wife when she was sick, and what she did to say thank you for her appreciation.' I thought I would do something nice for my wife as we have been more like roommates rather that husband and wife. So when she came home the other night, I had dinner started; I asked her how her day had gone.' I made dinner: pasta, home made sauce, a nice salad, a glass of wine.' When she was done I cleaned up and while she was watching TV, I filled the tub with lots of bubbles, and' lit candles all around the top. (It is a big tub and two can fit in very easily.)' I poured two glasses of wine, got her robe and said, 'Close your eyes and come with me.'' She followed me into the bathroom and saw what I had done and said,' Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to get me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this.'' Anyway,I am sure someone out there would have appreciated the gesture. I think this is why guys wake up and say, I have had enough."' And then they call dating sites, and crank up porn, and have affairs.'When I wrote "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands," everybody wanted to know why I didn't have "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Wives."' And I said that women control everything in intimate relationships,' and that it was much easier for a woman to change a man's mood, than it was for a man to change a woman's mood.' For example: A man comes home after a very bad day.' His wife greets him at the door, in some scanty negligee, and says "Honey, lets go make mad, passionate love."' The guy goes brain dead about his day, and has a great night.'A woman, however, comes home after a bad day.' Guy meets her in the altogether, and says, "Baby, let's go make mad, passionate love." And she's going to sound just like this wife: "Are you crazy?' Is this supposed to make me excited about being intimate with you? I don't know what you were thinking, but I am tired and I don't need this."' That would be the more typical response, because we women don't give up our moods that quickly.' We embrace them, with talons sunk in deep.' So, yeah.' I know it sounds shocking, but I know why there are sites where you can get some action.' Because, wherever there isn't the proper care and feeding of husbands, there's somebody that's going to log into one of those sites.' A husband who sets up the night like this guy did, whose wife goes, "Ooh, honey"' is never going to log into any of those sites.' Because he's got everything: wife, mother of his children, lover, and best friend...' There's nothing left to look for. More >>

In response to my blog on the degeneration of interpersonal relationships through Facebook, MySpace, and the swell of gossip media outlets, I got this from Paul French: You are so correct.' My wife came across a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that I believe explains a lot of this:' 'Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.' Thanks, Paul! More >>