Dr. Laura,

I have been listening to you for about 5 years. I think I have become a better husband and man because of it. I was listening to your podcast in the gym a couple of days ago and a person called in that really struck a chord with me. She had a couple of adopted kids that had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and was having great difficulty managing them. You showed great empathy for her situation. You explained so that the caller understood that there was no shame in being unable to manage these difficult kids. In fact, she may need to give them to someone else to raise.

My wife and I found ourselves in a similar situation many years ago, when we adopted a little girl from Russia. Unknown to us, she had RAD and was incredibly difficult to manage. Like the caller on the phone, we also set our home up with door alarms and other devices to keep track of our daughter. We eventually made the decision to disrupt the adoption, after 6 years of trying to deal with her. She went to live with a family that had experience with RAD kids. They had a better support system around them. It was an incredibly difficult decision with lots of guilt and shame attached.

Your comments to the caller made her feel less shamed by her situation. Your comments also made me feel better about my own decision years ago. I had never heard of RAD before we adopted the little girl. I found that most people were unable to relate to the problem. We felt very isolated at the time. I know you helped the caller tremendously with your advice. I wish I had had someone to give me the same good advice when I was dealing with my own situation.

Thanks for the good work you do and please keep doing it.

Sean



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