Dr. Laura:

Not long ago, I heard a woman call you to ask if she should have kids since she had an abusive childhood.  As the mother of three very well-adjusted, kind, talented young adults, I want to encourage those like that woman to continue to be purposeful about learning about parenting and about yourselves.  I had a pretty bad childhood, but I was able to spend time with friends' good families while I was growing up.  Now, I always recall your adage that you have two chances for a good parent/child relationship.  I clung to that after I married and started having children.  

My husband and I have made sure we have a good, supportive family.  We have gone to the same church for 25 years, and they have good programs for children.  I've noticed that the well-adjusted kids pay close attention to their parents.  While I was learning to get past my poor childhood experience, I worked with good therapists, studied child rearing, took classes and focused on my kids and family by staying home with them instead of working.   Thanks to your urging and reinforcement, I learned to control my own hurt and anger, and give my kids the childhood they deserved.  So to anyone who wonders if they can move beyond an abusive childhood, I say yes!  You CAN become a good mother.  You just have to keep your eyes focused on the goal.  

Lori