Punographics
April 30, 2012
Punographics

Hope you enjoy the following bits of humor Terry sent in:

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.    It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope there's no
pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?    A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again?  Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.



Posted by Staff at 12:54 PM