Dear Dr. Laura,

I have been a stay-at-home mom for two years, and it has been hard. I haven't loved it. I have a happy life generally, no big trials to deal with, but just the fact that I haven't gotten as much sleep as I like has been difficult for me.

I was always good at everything I did in school and college and I was really good cleaning growing up, so I totally thought being a stay-at-home mom would be easy. What I didn't know is that every mom in my life had made it look easy when it is not.

This makes sense, because as a mom if you make it look hard, your kids will think it's their fault. So you can't do that, and none of the moms I knew did that. So I was tricked along with many people that being a mom is a piece of cake.

Well now I know that it takes all the creativity and ingenuity and faith in the world. I have a 2-month-old baby girl and a 2-year-old boy. I am finally starting to enjoy moments of this job. It has taken prayer and acceptance, but I think yesterday I had my "AHA" moment.

I was taking the car in to get fixed, and while we waited for hours at the little shop, I went to a nearby store and bought some balloons to help keep my son entertained. The man working the desk would come in and see us playing, and once he leaned over to my toddler and told him how lucky he was he has such a good mom.

I put that together with my landlord who is a grandpa and who brags to my husband and even his family living around him about how I am such a good mom, as he sees me playing in their yard with my son.

I love getting praise, which is probably a bad thing, but because I was talented I got lot of it in school and growing up. I learned to live off of it. I knew I wouldn't get that any more choosing to stay at home, and so getting these complements has really blessed me and opened my eyes to see that people really do appreciate motherhood.

Even though I don't get many accolades from women, it seems that men - especially grandpas - can see the value in what moms do.

Anyway, I am starting to wake up with an inner drive to make it through the day, knowing I have hard work to do, but it is worth it. I am glad to start having these feelings because it has taken me 2 years to get them. Usually I hear other mothers talk about how wonderful it is and I would be skeptical and wonder why they think it is wonderful when for me it is hard. But like anything good, you have to work at it and do it before you reap the benefits.

I am finally reaping the joy of my hard work. But it's still hard.

Sincerely,

J.