Finding The Silver Lining: When The New Baby Impacts Your 'Friendships'
January 4, 2016
Finding The Silver Lining: When The New Baby Impacts Your 'Friendships'

Dear Dr. Laura:

My husband and I were close friends with a group of people throughout our early twenties.  I was under the impression that they were pro "live your life however you want," but my husband and I learned they were really pro "live your life however WE think you should."

Eight months after we married, I got pregnant.  We always knew I was going to be a stay-at-home mom when we had kids, but we thought this was going to be a few years out, not 8 months into our marriage.  We were both a little overwhelmed, so we went to our friends for support.  Instead, one of them actually said "That sucks!  We probably aren't going to be friends much longer.  Are you going to keep the baby?"  My husband and I told those friends off and dropped them.  These friends were always talking about accepting people's life choices, and how kind we all needed to be toward those who were different from us.  But they were telling their own friends that I was throwing away my college degree, I was becoming a "kept woman" and losing my identity and they just couldn't be friends with that.  I felt betrayed; people we thought we were close to just abandoned us with ease. 

Now, after becoming a mom, I see how ironic and hypocritical they were, and I see them through lenses of pity instead of anger.  Your program helped me live a life of "revenge" by being happy and untouched by their judgments.  Your book "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land" helped me realize that I knew what kind of people they were a long time ago, yet I stayed friends with them before our pregnancy.  After their betrayal I found new and wonderful friends and even found a fulfilling hobby I would never have thought of.  Thank you for helping me find the "silver lining" in betrayal.  I am my husband's girlfriend, my kid's mommy and your happy and grateful listener.


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM