July 9, 2012
Right Brain Parenting By Dr. Andrea Weiner www.drandie.com Have you ever felt that this parenthood journey you signed up for was not exactly what you thought it would be? In many entertainment magazines and tabloids, parenthood has been a cause de célèbre, especially when movie stars make being a parent the new "in" thing. You see pictures of celebrities taking their young children to the park or on other outings looking blissful and beautiful. And you wonder why these stars look so happy and you are not, right? The truth is parenthood is the most challenging yet rewarding "jobs" we will ever have. There are moments of pure joy mixed with times of sheer frustration and terror. The question is can we realistically expand more times of joy being a parent? Practicing right brain parenting might be the answer. Right brain parenting is defined as the ability to use the part of the brain that is emotional, creative, playful, and intuitive while parenting. This approach came to me while asking a good friend of mine how he came up with an incredible, creative game with his son. It was not only fun for him and his child to partake in, but it also had a learning component to it. I realized that the joy he got from doing this came from using his right brain. The brain is divided into two hemispheres that control different functions yet are connected to one another. Left-brain functions include analytical and mathematical thinking. When you are being creative, allowing yourself to daydream, or using your intuition, the right side of the brain takes over. Often while parenting children, we are constantly in a state of questioning our actions, with thoughts like, "Is this the right way to handle this situation?" or, "What if he/she can't do this task and what should or can I do about it?" These thoughtful questions allow our left brain to take over to come up with logical answers. There is nothing wrong with these kinds of left-brain induced thoughts, but it begins to become tiresome when there is no balance of right brain parental action. You know this happens when you feel more stressed and overwhelmed, and get less joy out of parenting. Here are a few ways to activate the right brain while parenting and get more fun and joy out of being a parent: 1. Allow a creative flow of ideas in the form of games or projects to play with children. Start off with an idea of what could be a fun way to teach or explain something to your children. It could also be some way you want to spend time and interact with them. Don't overanalyze the idea and enjoy having fun playing around with the creative aspects of it. You can include your children in this right brain idea formation and ask for their suggestions. The how to's of putting it into action will be the left brain's job to do. 2. Tune into that intuitive "voice" when unsure of how to handle a situation with your child. Instead of immediately reacting to a situation, take a few deep breaths, and then ask yourself, "What way would be in my child's best interest to handle this particular situation?" Listen for the answer that sounds like a voice talking to you. It's our right brain tuning into the wisdom that comes from our intuition that is usually correct. The stress in parenting comes from the not knowing how to handle a child's problem or issue. 3. Create more right brain parenting thoughts. For every "I should do this for my child" thought, counter it with a "what would I enjoy doing with my child?" thought. Too often the "shoulds" of what to do make parenting tiresome. Also when you switch the thoughts around, this allows you to see different perspectives and gives you more choices while parenting. You do not have to react to every right brain thought or even do them at that moment, but it alleviates the stress of too much logic in parenting and not enough fun. And fun in parenting leads to more joy! Dr. Andrea Weiner is the founder of Emotionally Smart Beginnings, educational products teaching emotional and social skills for children and parents. She is the author of The Best Investment: Unlocking the Secrets of Social Success for Your Child and More Than Saying I Love You: 4 Powerful Steps That Help Children Love Themselves. Her books have made her a popular media guest, parent coach, lecturer and workshop leader. For tips on how to help your child develop lifelong skills based on social and emotional intelligence and well-being visit: www.drandie.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com. Posted by Staff at 2:03 PM |