Dr. Laura:
I was married for 33 years to a wonderful man, who sadly died of a massive heart attack at the age of 58 just a few months ago.  I started to think about what I've learned about love, which I'd like to share with you and your listeners:

1. If you're friends before you date, you won't have many "personality" surprises after marriage.


2. Choose a man who is already "father" material - not one who might be shocked into what fatherhood entails after a baby arrives.


3. Love is kind.  Being kind to each other means putting the other person first, above your own needs and desires.  


4. Make yourself attractive to your spouse.  It shows you value their approval and you respect them enough to care about yourself.


5. Don't let the love light go out....ever.


6. Love is being patient with each other, because each of us is not always on our best behavior even when we love each other.


7. Love is never a 50/50 proposition - it has to be "all in" 100% on each side.  If you're not giving each other 100% of yourself, you're not giving enough.


8. Love is being excited about what makes them excited - their hobbies and interests should be important to you.


9. Love is being on the same team in life together.


10. Love is long-term, forever, no matter what together.  

I lost the love of my life and my kids lost their wonderful father.  He left an impression on all who knew him, and I've had the honor of being able to reflect on all the good that was in this man who I married when I was just 20 years old.   So hold on to the good and let the chaff roll off your back, because someday they just might not be there anymore.

Sandy