Proper Caring Again
November 12, 2012
Proper Caring Again

Dr. Laura,

I purchased your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" seven years ago. It changed my life -- for a while, that is. As easy as it was to be ashamed of my behavior and change my ways, it was just as easy to fall back into the regular pattern and routine of my regular ways.

Recently, a client and I were talking about books that impacted our lives. Your book was the one we talked about. I wish you could have been there.  Our comments were the same: the same guilt and tears. We both called our husbands and apologized, giving them hugs and kisses and things changed....temporarily.

Yesterday, my husband had surgery on his knee.  I was looking for something to fill my time and told him on the way there I wanted to stop at the book store and pick up your book again (I had loaned it to a friend and never received it back --  there's another lesson).  I was reading in the waiting area while he was doing his paperwork, and was once again filled with guilt and “ahas.” For example, recently, I had my eye liner tattooed. I didn't tell my husband because I didn't think he would notice or care.

He did.

And while I was reading your book I “got it.”  Right there in the waiting room, I looked at him and said that I was sorry for not talking to him about it, and for making a permanent decision and not saying anything to him. He looked at me and said, "You got that from that book." I said. "I realized my stupidity, and selfishness from the book." It only took a chapter or two to fall back into cherishing my husband, but all that is not why I am writing to you.

After the surgery, one of my girlfriends asked how my husband was doing. We started talking about "sicky bed" which is something his mom did for her kids when they were ill. My girlfriend asked, "You're not going to do that, are you?" I thought about your words, and I thought about my rock of a man who would do literally anything for me and I replied, "Absolutely!! He would do that and more for me; it's the least I can do for him."

Since I read your book the first time, we added 3 children to our home and we now have 5 kids. My husband wasn’t anywhere on my priority list. I made his breakfast, lunch and dinner - I did my "duties" - but I didn't have time to be intimate. I didn't have time to even be civil. So today is a new day and I look forward to showing my husband I can change and showing my kids that their dad matters and that I love him very much.

So once again, I thank you.

Many blessings,


Posted by Staff at 3:34 PM