September 15, 2011
Paraprosdokian Sentences

Hi Dr. Schlessinger,

I thought you might enjoy these.

Lt Col Cary C., Retired


A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.

• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

• The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 

• If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. 

• We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 

• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

• The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire. 

• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish. 

• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

• Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy. 

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 

• You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again. 

• The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas! 

• Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. 

• I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot. 

• Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. 

• There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 

• You're never too old t o learn something stupid. 

• Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Some additional paraprosdokian sentences. 

Posted by Staff at 12:00 AM