Hi Dr. Laura:

I'm one of those dinosaurs who has yet to use either Facebook or Twitter. But I would like to relate a story that honestly DID happen to me about ten or twelve years ago. We'd pulled into the Maxwell, Nebraska rest stop on westbound I-80 (nicest rest stop in the country, by the way) and I went to the men's room. The first stall being occupied I went to the second. No sooner had I sat down than the man in the first stall said, "Hi, how are ya'?"

"Fine," I said, not wanting to seem unfriendly.

"What are ya' doin"?"

More cautious now, I replied, "We're heading west," figuring that would be a safe answer.

"Look," he said, "I've got to call you back. Every time I ask you a question the idiot in the next stall answers it!"

And that’s what you get for "talking private" in public on cell phones!

Here's another one I heard third-hand:

Some American college girls were vacationing in Europe. One of them woke up and went to a sidewalk cafe in Italy for her breakfast around 11:00. She called her friend on her cell phone and proceeded to give her every tiny detail of her sexcapade the night before. Despite the crowd at the cafe she had no trouble talking to her friend for the Itallians quieted down. When she had finished every juicy detail she put the cell phone back in her pocket.

A very handsome young European man came over to her table and asked if she was an American. The girl could not believe her luck. Here was this well-groomed, well-dressed, well-mannered, and incredibly handsome European "Prince Charming" standing right there at her table talking to her. She replied that, yes, she was an American and she and her friends were on vacation in Europe.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Oh, a blast!"

"Don't you have a problem with the language over here?"

"Oh no. Everybody over here speaks English!"

"A point you may wish to remember the next time you choose to have so private a conversation in so public a gathering!"