Hi Dr. Laura:

I've listened to you for 20 years.  I'm a good mom, but I am "the Mom."  My husband and I have a 16-year-old son, and our life has been turned upside down by a 14-year-old girl he likes, and her parents who seem to have very loose rules for her.  The most common phrase out of my son's mouth is "if her parents don't care, why should you?"

When he was growing up, I hugged my son, and I played tons of games and sports with him that I cared nothing about.  I helped with homework, made snacks, cleaned clothes, took him to church and have done all the Mom stuff I should.  I even had the nerve to complain to my husband that he was too tough on our son.  In retrospect, how dare I do that? 

I've completely begged my husband for forgiveness for all the years that I told him he was too tough.  Since our life has been turned upside down, it's now my husband who keeps our testosterone-driven child in check.  It doesn't faze my husband when our son says he can't wait to leave or that he will fail out of school if he doesn't get his way.  My husband has been a rock.  I have seen first-hand a complete shift in the family dynamic, and now I totally understand why kids need the polarity of a mommy and a daddy.  I am confident things will settle down, and my son will move on to have other girlfriends.  I also now totally respect the toughness "my man" has shown.

Marian