Dr. Laura:

I recently asked my daughter why she feared me.  She reminded me of a time when we were playing a game, and she was very young.  She leaned over and pulled hard at the little hairs that frame my face.  I said OUCH really loud, and she just laughed.  When I said "That wasn't nice" and "Don't do it again," she pulled at my hair once more.  Finally, I warned her that if she did it one more time, I'd do it to her.  She did, I did, and she screamed.

The second example my daughter gave me occurred when we were shopping and she was not behaving well.  I said that if she didn't behave, we would leave and neither of us would get anything.  She continued.  We went to our car and headed home.  

My daughter told me she always remembered those two specific events.  She knew that if I said I was going to do it, I did it.  When she was a teenager, she thanked me for being a woman of my word.  She's now 27, and we are on the best of terms.  And I never knew that a little hair pulling started it all.

Darla