May 16, 2011I. AM. HERE.
I'm a mother of 2 year old twins, and married to the man of my dreams. I love people, animals, have blonde hair, sing, dance and paint pictures. My life was in the hands of a 16 year old girl 33 years ago.
I've always been a bit awkward and self conscious, but recently I've realized I come from a hero. My mother is so brave, and so strong. I feel empowered by her unbelievable actions and I honor her daily by being the absolute best person I can be. She fought to let me live, and when I look at flowers, trees blowing in the wind, clouds, birds, people's faces...I am so grateful and I am so happy. I'm a part of this human race because she thought that my life was worth saving. Before she knew me. Before she saw my face. Before I had a name.
She was 16 and pregnant when she ran from the appointment room of an abortion clinic. As a result, she was kicked out of her house. Her 16 year old boyfriend was as scared as she was and eventually moved to another part of the country. She was alone and homeless, yet she was selflessly preparing to do something she knew would hurt more than anything.
After I was born, a nurse placed me on my hero's chest. As we slept, someone sketched a picture of mother and daughter and gave it to her. Then, I was gone. She had looked through many applications, and had chosen a couple she would have liked to have had as parents. They had a home, the woman would quit her job to raise the baby, they had extended family and they had a lot of love.
After losing everything for this baby, she let go of the little being she had nurtured inside of her womb for 9 months. She could have clung to me and the romance of the idea of "we'll make it through together," but she wanted to give me a real life, and a great chance in life. This has been extremely valuable to me. At 16, she knew a two parent family was best.
She lived with foster families until she was of age, and never regained a proper relationship with those who would have had me dead. Her heart ached for the loss of her baby, but she has made a life for herself and is very loved by the children she went on to have.
And I look at my fingers as I type, and I feel my tears running down my cheeks and I see photos of people I love hanging on the wall beside me. I am so thankful and I just don't know how to put it into words because I. AM. HERE.
My birth mother is the most heroic person I know, and when I think about it, every birth mother who has given a child up for adoption is hero. These women need to be praised for what they have done. They stood up for us...lives who some say are not worth saving. They gave us to families who would love us...and with us lost a piece of their hearts. Who can do something so brave? Only a hero. Their private struggle has been so huge...they need to be lifted up.
And, to my Birth Mother I say: "I don't know how to say thank you. I just don't....But I am here. I am here. I will make my life, this gift, your suffering count. You will see, I was worth it."
Thanks Dr. Laura.
L.
Posted by Staff at 10:14 PM