May 9, 2011
Fireworks and Marriage

I loved your answer the caller Ashley when she was so worried about "fireworks" to tell her when to get married. I'd tell her "fireworks, shmireworks". I thank God every single day that I let go of that absurd notion and married my husband, who I now actually feel "fireworks" for more each day we are married!

Jim & I lived in the same condominium complex when we met and saw each other ALL THE TIME - mainly out with our dogs - including in the rain, with the flu, flannel nightgown tucked into my sweats, and dirty hair only partly hidden under the hood of my raincoat. He liked me even after that! We learned to know each other slowly, and saw how the other behaved over time in all sorts of circumstances and with all sorts of people, not just how the other behaved during dates. Because of the almost "forced" circumstances of living so geographically close, we became friends, first about the time we started dating, I knew him so well I never had that "ooooh" feeling one gets when first infatuated.

Now, I couldn't wait to see him, I loved being with him, he made me laugh, & he took incredible care of me, but stupidly, I worried and worried about that dumb "feeling". Here was this hunk of an adorable man who was so very thoughtful, sweet, fun, the first one I wanted to talk to about everything, who always made sure our dogs were involved when possible (a deal breaker for me)...and a GREAT kisser. C'mon! No brainer, huh? Still, I kept The Big Issue pushed away - delaying our marriage for probably 1&1/2 years by my stupidity - all because "but I never felt that first feeling". !!!

Funny, once he asked and I said yes, I couldn't IMAGINE what my problem had been! It was so obvious to me I couldn't even imagine myself with anyone but him...and that has not changed a teeny bit. Everyone said I was the most un-jittery bride - I couldn't figure out why one would be jittery. I was finally going to be one with the man I adore, and I now get to flirt and cook and laugh and plan with (and trust!) this fabulous man - forever. Just as our Dr. Laura always preaches, teaches, and nags, when you wake up in the morning thinking about how you can make your spouse happy, it is YOU who benefits - in spades! But you gotta mean it.

Jim's in Afghanistan now, but will be home in 13 days. Actually, as I write, 12 days and 21.5 hours...but who's counting? ME!!! I can barely breathe at times I'm so excited!

So, Dr. Laura you were so right on the mark with Ashley (Duh! When are you not?). Ignore Disney and look at that man you are dating. If he is as fabulous as you said he is, grab him and LOVE (as a verb) him. Make your own fireworks! Believe me they go higher each year.

M.

Posted by Staff at 9:21 PM