About ten years ago, I was in the process of separating from my husband, who was having an affair with our 19-year-old babysitter. Our four children ranged in age at that time from 1 to 5 years old. Despite his apologies and pleas for forgiveness, I just wanted out. I didn't stop to consider the consequences. By some divine coincidence, I accidentally stumbled upon your show. By listening, I was able to admit two painful things and accept responsibility for both: 1) that it was likely I had not married a person of character, and 2) I had not been my husband's girlfriend.
I could see in hindsight that my focus was on the kids and not my husband. My children should not have to pay the price for my careless choices, so I forced myself to find a way to make it all work. My husband continues to be conciliatory and to my knowledge has not repeated his mistakes. He's also now an avid listener to you. I'm grateful I stayed, but I didn't realize the impact my choice had on my kids until tonight, when my 11 year old son (in talking about a friend whose parents are divorced) said "I feel like people who get divorced don't consider all the bad things that will happen to everyone in their family. I'm so glad you and daddy aren't divorced, and I won't get divorced and do that to my kids." This was a proud moment for me. Thank you for giving that to me.
Miriam