January 11, 2012Disappointed With My Date
Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Welcome to our YouTube channel, where I get to answer Abigail's question. (When you think of Abigail, you think of somebody wearing lace...any way):
"I'm a woman in my mid-40's, just returning to dating after 12 years of not dating. I'm currently in a relationship 7 months old. When is it okay to express disappointment - or is it ever okay?"
What?! [Laughs] It's called "communication"; it's called "being open". "I really like the peanut butter. I really don't like the jelly on it, but thank you so much for making me the sandwich."
Before it turns into disappointment and anger, and frustration and worse (although I can't imagine what "worse" is), you always have to be able to communicate. "Gee, I was a little disappointed that you didn't call after being gone for 6 weeks." "Gee, I was a little disappointed..." And you see what they have to say. If they look like "Pfft, well I don't care", then [makes a cutting at the neck motion with hand] the relationship's terminated. If they go, "Gosh, I didn't realize that was important to you", then that's a person you can work with.
So all the emotions, not just the disappointment...your pleasure, your disappointment, your unhappiness, your choices, things you value...I mean, these are all the things you have to commune about or how are you really building a relationship? Otherwise it's just that "you're cute, I'm horny". Which, you know, is okay but doesn't take you over the long haul of life.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Until next time on our YouTube channel, go do the right thing.
Posted by Staff at 1:03 PM