May 7, 2010
This Mother's Place
THIS MOTHER'S PLACE By Cheryl Gochnauer It's not easy holding down two demanding jobs, one outside and one insidethe home. So when my daughters were 6 and 2, I turned in my resignation andbecame a stay-at-home mom. I was 36, a nearly-20 year veteran of office politics and project deadlines.This was merely a time-out, a season of my life when I would focus on familyinstead of faxes. As soon as my baby hit first-grade, I'd head back for mycubicle. That was the plan, anyway. But the more time I spent with my girls, themore they depended on me. And as our once-elusive quality time togetherexpanded, I realized I needed them, too. I suppose some may view scaling back material possessions as sacrifice. ButI know I've made a good trade when I'm on hand for those teachable momentsin my children's lives. And surprisingly, they didn't halt when my youngeststarted school. In many ways, those opportunities have increased as mygirls have grown. Recently, my preteen burst off the bus and in the front door, her face athundercloud of anger and barely contained tears. Wiping my hands on a dishcloth, I stepped into the living room from thekitchen, where I was starting dinner. "What happened?" I asked. "Nothing." Didn't look like nothing. Guiding her over to the couch, we sat down. With my hand on her shoulder, Iasked again. "What happened?" Then the cloud burst, and the story of herdisintegrating relationship with another girl poured out. I'm so glad I was there! It was about 4:00 p.m. In my old life, I wouldn'thave even been home until 6:30 p.m. By then, my daughter would have plowedher feelings under. The chance to bond would have been lost. What was I making for dinner that night? I don't have a clue. But themoments spent helping heal my child's hurt are forever seared in my heart. This time at home has turned out to be a gift to me, as well as to mychildren. That's because we've found the balance that fits our uniquefamily. Since we are all individuals, it would be unfair to cookie-cutevery mother into being a full-time stay-at-home mom. But being homecertainly has turned out to be the perfect place for me. It has been a while since my youngest entered first grade. My projectedtarget date for returning to the office has come and gone. But that's okay.I'm happy on this path. For me, the Promised Land lies in my own backyard. (Comments? Write Cheryl@homebodies.org , or visit her website at www.homebodies.org . Her book, " So You Want to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom ," isavailable through Dr. Laura#146;s Reading Corner . Copyright2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.)

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