February 12, 2018
She Knows Now That She Has A Mother She Can Turn To, With Anything


Dr. Laura:

I made a parenting mistake when my kids were teenagers - I didn't listen enough.  The teen years are really tough, and sometimes I felt like I was navigating through them as a parent alone.  

Because I offered my adult wisdom all the time to my daughter back when she was in her mid-teens, we would fight, fight, and fight some more.  In hindsight, I realize if I had just listened and gave her plenty of room to talk, she would have continued to come to me with her issues, worries, and stories.  Instead, I butted in and offer advice on everything.  By not listening, I drove her away.  

My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and during this time, she turned to him a lot.  He helped bridge the gap and HE listened to her.  Fortunately, his advice was well-received.  

Fast forward ten years, and I'm happy to report that we now have a wonderful relationship.  We laugh and talk almost every day.  And I listen to her.  If she had a stressful day, I listen.  If she wants to talk about work, I listen.  Advice is only given when warranted and asked for.  By my backing away and listening, my girl grew up and became a very responsible young woman.  She knows now she has a mom she can turn to with anything.  And I learned that listening is sometimes a lot more important than offering unsolicited advice and opinions.


Kathy


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM