June 14, 2011
To my Dad - Angry People vs. Choice

Greetings Dr. Laura,

I was honored to be email of the day in April and even talked with Kimberly briefly. I have listened to you for many years and you have shaped my life by making me think about choices and consequences. I am a licensed therapist and have passed on some of that wisdom learned so others may make their choices, before experiencing the consequences.

I wanted to share with you something I shared with my Dad who is about to go through a nasty divorce after 33 years.

My dad sent me a Facebook note from my 20 year old brother who called my dad a coward for wanting to review the relationship and decide if he wants to be in it anymore as his needs are not being met. In my response to my Dad, I shared some important insights that may be helpful to others.

My response:

I hid posts from ______ (Brother) a while ago due to his disturbing rants and negative posts. Looks like at some point he decided to block me all together or deleted his account as he isn't showing up on Facebook lists. I didn't even notice until I looked him up just now via prompting from your note. Like ____(dad's wife), he chooses anger to express himself and will have a very difficult and isolated life. As he ages, anger works less and less for controlling people and situations.

As others grow up they just start avoiding angry people. The irony is that angry people always push others away and attack while having their hand out... palm up. His choice. His responsibility. His consequences.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.
Simply put... it is now just your turn.

I look forward to hearing about the places you've been and adventures you have explored while you decide your next steps to protect and heal yourself. It is imperative you do both.

I have found in my short years it all boils down to
1) Can this be fixed?
2) Do you want to fix it?
People spend years in "therapy" avoiding those two concepts with window dressing and dramatics.

Combinations of those answers lead to different paths.

When I had my 50/50 waiting on the biopsy I decided negative people just aren't going to be in my life anymore. I don't have the strength, energy or interest. I literally almost didn't have time.

I downplayed the situation at the time and looking back that was a mistake as I was trying to protect people from what was really going on. I didn't need to be alone in my fears. As for negative people, they will never be happy, just vampires with take, take, take, me, me, me, philosophies. The years I have left will be spent having a good life. Without them.

Like before, it's now your turn. Your choice, your responsibility, your consequences.
And that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. Alone is absolutely a choice too.

Love you

David

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Thanks for all you do and support over the years.
You have made a difference in people's lives and that is true immortality.

Best regards,

David

Posted by Staff at 12:00 AM