August 8, 2011Not Getting Your Needs Met By Your Husband?
Hi Dr. Laura,
Posted by Staff at 8:00 PM
I've been married for just over two years and have been having a hard time with my husband. We've been fighting on and off since the marriage. When we fight, we are both miserable and when we get along, it's amazing. Lately I feel like I am not being heard, my feelings are disregarded and my needs are being ignored.
As a listener, I heard about your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" which I recently purchased. My method of beating my "needs" into my husband through constant fighting is not working (what a surprise) so I thought your book might help me see the light on how to be a better wife and create my own happiness instead of expecting my husband to magically make me "happy". Buying your book has changed my life!
I am only starting Chapter 4 and already I see what a nagging, complaining and ungrateful wife I've been. The more I complain about what I am not satisfied with, the worse it gets. Two days ago, based on the advice you give in your book (and on the air) I decided to stop complaining about all the ways my "feelings" have been hurt, and start praising my husband for all the wonderful things he does do. I even apologized to him for making him feel like he doesn't measure up and for being an inadequate wife, always complaining about my needs.
Guess what? He has responded wonderfully! In just two days of me being nicer to the man I truly adore, he has been loving, affectionate, kind and tender with me. I am in heaven!! How stupid I've been, expecting him to treat me well, when I've been consistently telling him he doesn't! I can't believe how simple it is. I have a message for all wives who aren't getting their "needs" met: TRY MEETING THE NEEDS OF YOUR MAN! You will be amazed at how your husband responds to being loved and adored!
Dr. Laura, I am married to a truly wonderful man whom I adore and admire, and I kick myself for not showing him every single day of our marriage, but I am grateful for "seeing the light" at this early stage in our marriage, before it's too late.
He has supported me while I pursued a degree, celebrated my accomplishments, never complains when I see my friends or buy things I need, loves my cooking, and always tells me how sexy and beautiful I am. I am a lucky woman and thanks to some very simple advice from you, I am committed to being my husband's loving girlfriend and, as one of your callers put it so aptly, I am happy to be his porn star whenever he needs me to be!
Thank you for writing your book. I subscribe to SiriusXM so I can listen to you and I will continue to be a loyal listener and reader.
God bless you!