I wanted to express my gratitude for your brilliant relationship advice. If I had known about you years ago, it could have saved me decades of grief and sadness. I married and had children with an abusive, alcoholic man. At times, he could be a somewhat-decent husband and a loving father. But his struggle with addiction was always there. I left him when my kids were 12 and 16. We divorced soon after, and he died of alcohol-related causes six months later.
Fast forward many years; my adult children and I are doing well. However, I know we all have a lingering sadness. I saw and ignored the signs. I said ‘yes’ at the altar despite our unhealthy relationship. Instead of leaving, I made babies with him.
If someone’s listening to my story and is ignoring red flags just to get married, please know this is the dumbest thing you could ever do. It's the most unfair and selfish choice you could ever make for your future children. I love when I hear you say, “You can do whatever you want, just don't have kids with him.” If I heard it framed that way, I may have never married him. I am grateful for my kids, but my choices have taken us all down a long, hard road with lasting repercussions. Please keep telling it like it is.
Lucy
Ignoring the Signs — A Cautionary Tale
What signs did you ignore early on in a relationship? Let me hear your story by emailing drlaura@drlaura.com!
