I was listening to a recent caller asking you if it was too soon to meet her boyfriend's grown children. They had dated for 6 months, were in their 50s, and she was considering marriage. Your advice to her was spot on. There is no way to truly blend a family, especially when one feels guilt and remorse over their divorce and the impact it had on their children.
I met my husband when his kids were 10, 12, and 14. I thought would have about 8 years of raising kids, and then our life would be ours. I believed he was the perfect man and that we would have the perfect life. How I wish I had listened to you! Fast forward 17 years, and we are still dealing with his kids’ addictions, their insecurities and his sense of obligation. There is no relief. My opinions or contributions do not matter. As you say, my options are to stay quiet and endure, complain to no end, or leave. There truly are no other choices. I have explored them all. If I had to do it all over again, I would never marry someone who has children.
Dr. Laura, keep being direct, frank and honest with your listeners. Everyone should follow your advice and ask themselves, “Is this how I want to live between now and dead?” It’s a great question. Life is too short.
Dianne
The Price of Blending a Family
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