Dr. Laura Blog

Everyone gets excited when they first start dating someone they really like. The trick is to not allow that excitement to sabotage you. How can you make sure you don’t screw up a new relationship before it gets off the ground? Just follow these simple tips:

1. Don’t put your whole life on hold. Don’t ignore your family, friends, hobbies, or activities simply because you’re smitten. Don’t wait by your phone for the next text. Continue to live your life. You’ll make much wiser choices if you do that. 

2. Don’t ask too many of your single friends for advice. There’s a reason they are single. 
 
3. Don’t ignore trouble. When someone shows or tells you who they are, BELIEVE them. Don’t think you’re going to change them - you’re not magic.

4. Don’t lie. A lot of people make up stuff in order to look better, but it’ll all come out in the wash.

5. Don’t become sexual before there’s at least an actual relationship of duration and depth. Once you have sex, there are all kinds of emotional issues that cloud your objectivity. 

6. Don’t compare. Just because you used to date someone who was really great or really sucky, don’t start comparing. Everybody’s different.

7. Don’t look too far ahead. Don’t be discussing three years in the future - when you get married or have kids - right off the bat. Focus on today. 

8. Don’t over-call or over-text.  You don’t want to seem like your entire life is about the relationship. It makes you look needy and desperate (probably because you are). 

9. Don’t lose your sense of self. Don’t turn yourself over to everything the other person says or does because you want them to want you.

10. Don’t say, “I love you,” before you mean it. Think about all the movies where people meet each other in the morning and by lunchtime they’re professing their undying love for each other. What the hell is that about? Love is probably the strongest emotion there is. Don’t say, “ I love you,” until you mean it with your heart, soul, and life.