Dear Dr. Laura:
I'm in a second marriage with three kids from my previous marriage and two from my husband's previous marriage. I knew the statistics weren't good before we married, so we waited four years to make sure we wouldn't hurt our kids anymore. I was married for 21 years the first time, and I left knowing I did everything possible to try to save what was irreparably broken. I reconnected with my high school best friend whom I had never dated, and he was as amazing as I had remembered.
We just celebrated our 11th anniversary. We truly worked our butts off to make sure our kids were a priority so that we would never cause them pain again. Last year, we moved to a different state and took in my 84-year-old mother to care for her. My husband said to me it was the right thing to do. Of course, there were far more challenges than I had expected, and I found myself snapping at my husband more, and being a pain in the rear to this wonderful man who loves me unconditionally. On New Year's Eve, he didn't live up to MY expectations of a romantic moment at midnight, but of course, I never TOLD him what I expected and I got snippy and went off by myself.
Someone gave me a copy of "
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and I devoured it right after that moment. One of the most profound things I read was "
how would you like to be on the receiving end of your words?" You smacked me across the face hard! The next day I apologized and he said "
Next year, we'll make a fire, pop champagne and cozy up to ring in the new year." So I am changing because of your words. With a 75% divorce rate for second marriages and a man who other women would take in a heartbeat, I'm being kinder, gentler and more loving. THANK YOU!!
Elise
