I have been happily married for over 25 years now to my best friend and we did struggle with intimacy after both our children. I will admit it was mostly me. Our children are almost exactly two years apart so between breastfeeding, pregnancy and money struggles, (we chose for me to be an at home mom :), I was not always in the best of moods. But we discovered the thing that worked for us!
Date night every Friday night. We couldn't afford to go out and didn't want to leave our kids with a babysitter so we started making "special" Friday night meals which we would eat late after the kids were in bed. We would open some cheap wine, turn on some nice music, light some candles and just talk. It changed everything. We got to "reconnect" with some adult time and it usually lead to intimacy. Not only did it make our Friday nights special...the closeness we experienced started to change how the rest of the week went. We looked forward to our Fridays and what an aphrodisiac that is! Now I admit, some nights the kids did not cooperate but we would laugh and make the best of it.
Our kids are now both in college and we still do Friday night date nights. Sometimes we go out, but we mostly just make a quiet dinner for ourselves. My kids now know not to expect dinner from us on those nights. It worked wonderfully for us and I hope it helps someone else.
Thank you for all your advice. I have never called in but have come to my own conclusions just by asking myself what you would say. :)
Sincerely,
Christine
