I recently came across this article "The Post-Bedtime Ritual of Successful Working Parents" posted online by one of my full-time working mom acquaintances. I began to read the article, initially thinking that it was going to discuss ways to have a work-life balance. In actuality, the essay maps out this working mother's day and the hurdles she jumps through to "do it all". As I got through the first couple sentences, I honestly questioned if this was a complete joke or if this was actually advising on how to cram 800 mom and career things into one day.
The author suggests a "split- shift"-- you know, how to fit the family obligations amongst her 55 hr/week career-ladder-climbing work schedule...I quote the author: "I could keep working every night until 8:30 p.m. and not see my kids. Or I could stop work at 5:30 p.m., hang out with my family until 8:30 p.m., and then get back to work." 3 hours?! 3 hours a day is all she allocates to her kids... And forget about her husband - he must not make the cut. THIS is the prime example of why I do not want to be a full-time working mother. Unfortunately, THIS is what is expected by women and men in my generation. As an almost 30-year-old, all of my girlfriends who have kids, unquestionably have full-time jobs as well. It's totally normal.
My husband and I got married on the premise that we did not plan to have children. We got married young and now 7 years in, having a family is something we have discussed. I have stressed to my husband I only want to have kids if I am able to stay home with them. He, a sign of the times, has disagreed, arguing he liked the "comfort" of a dual working family. "All of our friends do it and they seem to manage just fine??" I have tried to explain to him the double standard that feminism has brought on women - to be full-time career women AND be full-time mothers. It's impossible.
I sent my husband the link to this article and titled the subject line: "My worst nightmare". After reading it, I think he finally understands. He does not see the unsustainable stress working mothers bear and deflect on to their families. In addition to everything else wrong in the world, children only get a fraction of their mother's time and love, because the rest of her time is allocated to work - whether the mothers like it or not.
It still makes me smirk to think this is an actual article and not just written in satire. I cannot believe a woman thinks this is a sustainable, healthy environment to raise children. I shake my head at the likes and supporting comments this essay received on Facebook from my brainwashed generation. Although the jury is still out on what I will choose, I will stand strong in my choice to do one thing, with 100% effort. The author of the article credited herself as aspiring to move ahead in her career. So I sign this...
Sincerely,
An aspiring stay-at-home-mom.
