Dr. Laura:
As a feminist, I'm an unlikely huge fan of yours. I did not marry until I was 47 (I'm 61 now). When I married, I had not yet started listening to you, but I did have the sense not to "shack up" with him before marriage and we dated for 2 years. We also went to pre-marital counseling, so I guess I was a supporter of yours without knowing it!
After several years of marriage, I started feeling like a "nag," and felt like I wasn't being appreciated. That really scared me, because I could feel the resentment building between us.
Then I stumbled on your program, and after listening for several months, picked up on three rules for a good marriage:
- Watch and compliment
- Tell him what a good husband and decent man he is
- Remember that sex makes him feel loved.
None of these were in my repertory at the time, but I decided to do them anyway. Once I did, I was blown away with his appreciation and love. I don't think I was a terrible wife, but I WAS a mediocre one, with much to lose if I did not wake up.
Since doing those three things, our relationship has greatly deepened, and we're having much more fun. Like you predicted, the nicer and more appreciative I was, the better everything else became. Your advice was truly invaluable.
Deb
