The Definitive Choice
By Cheryl Gochnauer
Copyright 2000
Are you thinking about becoming an at-home parent, but feel paralyzed when faced with actually making the decision? Take a look at an email I received on this topic:
Cheryl,
How do you get past the 'waffling'? I know being a SAHM is the best thing for me and my family. However, I still like 'things and stuff'. Does that mean that the SAHM life is not a reality for me? I want to make a sane decision. I feel financially close to being home but unsure of thelong-term SAHM budget issues. I keep thinking through things and my head feels like it is about to pop. I am afraid to walk away from work. I make more than my husband and I really enjoy what I do. I don't want to makeeveryone suffer because of what I want. This whole situation makes me feel between a rock and a hard place!
Lynne
First of all, Lynne, DO NOT QUIT FULL-TIME WORK YET. That might sound funny coming from me, but the stay-at-home lifestyle demands confidence.
Confidence that you're making the absolute best move for your family; confidence that you're called to do this; confidence that there's no other place you'd rather be, even on the tough days. (My motto remains, "The worst day at home still beats the best day at the office.")
What does your husband say? Do you have supportive people around you? Is there a possibility that you could transform your full-time job into a job-sharing or part-time scenario? Lots of women find their perfect balanceby blending their home time with a undemanding part-time job, or a work-at-home position. (Think about it -- that's what I'm doing. I'm a mother first, but I'm also an author and speaker who works out of her home.)
Here's another way of looking at it. Say your husband asked you to marry him, but you didn't know him well enough yet. So you were all kinda jumpy and apprehensive, because -- even though he turned out to be the one foryou -- you weren't convinced of that fact yet (although you had to admit, the guy was cute!). Would you go ahead and marry him anyway? Not if you're smart.
What you would do is date him a while longer, while you were gathering the info that you needed to make your commitment to him. The when you said, "I do," you did so with all your heart. And even when the tough times came,they didn't threaten your commitment, because you knew why you married him.
The same principle applies to making the jump to home.
(Comments? Write
Cheryl@homebodies.org
or visit her website at
www.homebodies.org
. Books make great Christmas gifts. Visit Homebodies' "Recommended Resources" page for some ideas:
www.homebodies.org/recbooks.html
. Watch for Cheryl's article, "Super Stay-at-Home Mom Syndrome", in the Nov/Dec issue of Today's Christian Woman, now in bookstores. Copyright 2001 Homebodies.Org, LLC. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com)
