Dear Dr. Laura,
I'm 63 years old and my husband's girlfriend of 34 years. I am my grown kids' mom and my 4 grandkids grand mommy!
When your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" came out years ago, I had been married I don't know, at least 15 years. I was thrilled to read the book to find I had treated my husband as the book suggests! I had figured out how to keep my marriage to my high-maintenance husband going well, by being THAT wife you describe in your book. I came away from reading your book with delight because I had resented all those years of having to "work so hard" to keep things so good! I continued to treat him well and HE turned into my hero!
We are now empty nesters and all is well. Two years ago I got breast cancer, if I had been younger I would have died from it in short order, but I have a good prognosis. It is the one time I'm glad about my age! I had to have one breast removed and began chemo therapy. They told me my hair WOULD come out - my beautiful hair! Somehow I had managed to accept the loss of a breast, but, my hair? It was just another blow to my femininity and I had been quite feminine.
The day it began to come out I was alone. I got a glass of wine, turned on some sweet OPERA and began brushing my hair out in clumps. With the first huge clump I started to cry, but stopped myself. I shook my head, brushed away that one tear and said: "There are worse things". Within an hour, I'd brushed most of my hair out with the exception of a few stubborn clumps. The next day my grown kids had me over for a shaving party and we laughed together and there was no reason to cry at all. My husband in the meantime never balked at any of the loss of my sexiness. He made love to me as if I were just as attractive as I had always been. I wore wigs during the year that it took to grow out my hair, and he loved them! I loved them! Once my hair grew long enough not to wear wigs anymore I gladly gave them up. They were hot and made me feel like a gal with cancer.
One day my husband sweetly said he wished I'd wear them once in a while to dinner or… I hesitated in my mind, thinking how I just didn't want to bother. "Why should I?" I thought to myself. Then I remembered I AM his girlfriend. I would do it if I were newly married to him and trying to make him have a good time, why wouldn't I do it now? I had been actually so satisfied by his complete loving response to me even after losing a boob and my hair that I sort of rested on those laurels! I decided to wear the wigs again, for a dinner out here and there. He was thrilled! I HAVE to admit I look good in those dang things and felt sexy...I had remained my husband's girlfriend and he has remained my hero! We are more in love now than we have ever been.
Charity
