07/27/2010
 Analyzing Dreams - ToFind The Truth
By Amitt Parikh
Every night we go to sleep andwitness many dreams. We almost spend our one-third life in sleeping.Whether you are able to remember your dreams or not, everybody dreamsand it's a fact.
I have been conscious of my dreams since past few years and wonderedtheir complex stories and how they would perfectly reflect my state ofbeliefs, desires, fears, and aspirations working as a perfect mirror ofmy waking consciousness.
Lately I began to see them more closely and many a times, becameconscious of dreaming inside the dreams and altered the output of thedream or course of the dream. Sometimes, I rewind and experience thealtered sequence. Often I would analyze dreams while dreaming.
Once I got up from a very complex dream and woke up. I was amazed at asudden thought of my mind working as a projector, projecting such acomplex script as a dream sequence involving so many characters, hugelandscapes, twists and turns like that of a movie story and weavingeverything together as one coherent dream sequence without any'editing' or 'revisions' needed!
One day, I was hearing an audio recording of Deepak Chopra's interviewwho views this whole thing with little different perception andimmediately it struck me. I used to think of my mind projecting thisstory, but I did not see my mind as 'me'. So now I have me myself, inmy dream as not only the character which is 'me' in the dream but allother characters, the plot, the locations... everything as 'me'!
So if you are witnessing a dream of you playing volleyball on a beachwith your friends, then essentially you are the 'you' who is playingalong with 'yourself' as your friends, you as the sea, you as the sandof the beach, you as the net, you as the ball as well you are thesounds you hear, you are the sunlight you see, you are ALL THAT IS inthat dream including the OBSERVER observing and experiencing that dream!
The REALITY as we know is no different than a DREAM, only it is awaking state dream. I am my physical body, I am my mind, I am the PC onwhich I am reading this, I am the article, I am the reader and I am thewriter and I am the one who is observing and understanding this andsaying 'hmm'!
Think of what happens when you 'wake up'. You suddenly realize all thathappened in dreams was only an illusion and so it never actuallyhappened. What if we 'wake up' again from our so-called wakingconsciousness just to find that this reality is also an illusion? Andnothing actually happened?
As we know the 'I' in our dreams never existed, it was just aprojection of 'myself' (which is 'higher self' for the 'I' within thedream state). So isn't this 'I' of waking state also an illusion - aprojection? Is this 'I' also our limited perception of the omnipresentOne Higher Self?
Well it seems dreams do tell us a lot about 'reality' if we analyze them moredeeply.
copy; Amitt Parikh, all rights reserved.
Amitt Parikh is the author of Conversations with The Mysterious One.He is a mystic and a professional trainer conducting revolutionary SelfDevelopment Courses, seminars and workshops for Everyday EvolutionaryLiving and Your Spiritual Revolution. He is the Executive Editor of YourSpiritual Revolution eMagazine and the Founder of Spiritual Scienceamp; Research Foundation, India. Permission granted foruse onDrLaura.com
More >>
|
| Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Relationships, Relatives
|
PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  |
|
07/27/2010
Deleting Your FacebookAccount 101
By John Sileo
www.Sileo.com
How do I delete my Facebook account?I get asked this question every day. At my speeches, by my clients, bymy friends and family. It used to be that people no longer wanted themundane information overload that Facebook promotes. But now they are looking at it from aprivacy perspective - they no longer want their thoughts, pictures, andvideos shared indiscriminately with people they don't know.
The defections have been sparked by Facebook's continuing march to sellyour private information (with only your implied consent, i.e., simplyby using Facebook, you agree to their terms) with an ever wideningcircle of people who are NOT YOUR FRIENDS (advertisers, data miners,and unfortunately, identity thieves). Many of the corporations I speakfor have me include a component on safe social networking because theinformation their employees are posting (personally or professionally)are damaging their corporate brand and profits either through dataleakage or as a beach-head for social engineering and other types offraud.
In past posts, I have pointed to the tools at your disposal to tightendown your Facebook security settings. But suddenly, that is nolonger complete enough for people, as Facebook continues to erode whatlittle privacy you can control. Just look at the privacy relatedFacebook news in the past few weeks:
- CNNArticle about Facebook defection because of privacy concerns
- Facebook announces OpenGraph, which shares your data with websites outside of Facebook toallow for more targeted advertising
- Securityhole: Live chat messages and pending friend requests brieflyavailable to ALL contacts forced Facebook to disable chat
So for those who actually want totake themselves off of Facebook (whether they want to delete theirFacebook profile or simply deactivate it), let me give you the basics.
First of all, you need to know the difference between Deactivating and Deleting your Facebook account (Iwill walk you through the steps to do either). When you "deactivate" your account, Facebookmerely suspends your account but retains all of your data in case youwant to restore it at a later date (and in case they still want to sellit even though you are no longer active). When you "delete" your account, yourinformation is permanently removed from Facebook (eventually) and cannot be restored if you changeyour mind. In other words, before you delete your account, make surethat you have original copies of any of the photos, videos, posts andcontact lists in your profile. Once they are gone, they're gone.
How To Deactivate Your Facebook Account:
Here are step-by-step instruction on how you can easily deactivate youraccount. Remember the difference between deactivation and deletion:deactivation is temporary so that you can reactivate your account ifyou wish to return to Facebook.
1. Log into your account and on the top right side click Account and thenAccount Settings.When this screen pops up, click the last option: Deactivate Account.
2. Once you click on Deactivate Account,it will bring you to this page:
Even after your account is "deactivated", you can still be tagged inphotos, invited to events, etc. Once again, you are still an activepart of the social networking site, it's just that you don't get to useany of the tools available to active accounts (thought Facebookcontinues to use your information). For a little additional privacy, besure to "opt out" of emails at the bottom of the page if you don't wantto receive any communications.
3. The site will ask you to confirm your password as well as a"captcha" security word to confirm that you are a living, breathing defector and nota computer.
Remember, you can reactivate at any time by logging in with your emailand password, although you must have access to your current login emailaddress.
4. Following all of these steps, Facebook will send you an emailconfirmation entitled "You have deactivated your Facebook account". Ofcourse, the email gives you a way to reactivate your account Facebookreally wants you to stick around, as your information is what supportstheir bottom line.
If this doesn't go far enough toward protecting your privacy#133;
How To Delete Your Facebook Account:
If you are certain that you won't use Facebook again (at least withyour current settings, posts, photos, videos, groups and pages) andwould like your account deleted, please keep in mindthat you will not be able to reactivate your account or retrieve any ofthe content or information you have added. If you would likeyour account permanently deleted with no option for recovery, followthese steps:
1. Log in to your account and then click here to PermanentlyDelete Your Facebook Account (and regain some sense of privacy).You should see this page:
2. Click submit to continue, enter your password, complete the securitycheck and click OK to make sure that you want to continue withDeletion. It should look something like this:
3. You will then be taken to one final page to confirm permanentdeletion of your Facebook account:
Pay close attention to the second sentence. If you log into youraccount again (even automatically on your iPhone or in your browser orthrough an affiliated site like Twitter or LinkedIn) your profile will be reactivated.
4. After completing this process you should receive an email with asubject similar to: "Account Scheduled for Deletion". At this point,you still have the option to cancel the request. I have heardthat Facebook might guilt you into staying (e.g., they may say that JoeFriend (one of your contacts) will really miss you).
Deleting your Facebook account is a very personal decision, but it isyour right to have these tools for controlling privacy at yourfingertips.
About the author: To furtherbulletproof yourself and your business, visit John's blog at www.Sileo.com. To book John at your next event,visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.John Sileo became America's leading Identity Theft Speaker amp;Expert after he lost his business and more than $300,000 toidentity theft and data breach. His clients include the Department ofDefense, Pfizer and the FDIC.Permissiongranted for use onDrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Health, Relationships, Relatives, Women's Point of View
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Teaching Tips on Reading Skills for Kids
By Jodie Lynn,
www.ParentToParent.comGetting kids to learn how to enjoy reading can be quite stressful and frustrating for a parent. Here are some tips to utilize that seem to work well for those reluctant readers. - Get your child a library card. As soon as he is old enough, let him get his own card. It is very exciting for kids to have their own card and make their own choices in reading material.
- Don't frown on his choice of books or reading material. Let your child make the choice on what to read. It might not be the book you would have picked out. In fact, it might even be a comic book, the back of a cereal box or a bubble gum wrapper. As long as your child picks up something and begins to read, it doesn't really matter.
- Let your kids see you reading. Laugh aloud and show them what it is that you are laughing about. Open the book to that specific page or picture and point to the words and read them to your child. Say, "Books can really be funny!"
- Set aside time for reading together. In the beginning, it might only be three times a week, then every other day and eventually move forward to each day. It almost always works best if you will take turns reading.
- Ask questions about what he just read. Don't do this with every page. Children know exactly what you are trying to do. Indeed, it works much better if you make a statement like, "Wait -- I don't understand why Jordan did not like the large red truck -- do you?"
- Encourage reading material on things he likes best. If your child loves Fairy Tales, shoot for that topic to begin. Alternatively, let them choose a wide variety of mixed topics, some of which you might was to roll your eyes -- but just stay calm and smile.
- Be Flexible: If you have a reading time scheduled and he just does not want to do it, go with the flow. It's important to show your child that reading is fun and is not a chore, test or quiz. You can always catch up later.
- Tape the session. Nothing is funnier as taping a reading session. Parents can get much farther with kids if they will let down their guard every once in a while and act silly. Play back the tape and your child will hear themselves reading and then hear your part where you acted silly. Maybe by changing your voice.
- Share personal stories. When reading with your child, point out a similar instance in real life. For example, if a character in the book falls down and drops a glass of milk, you could say, "That happened to me when I was seven." Or, "That's just like the time when you fell down after tripping over the dog...remember."
- Read everything aloud. If you will read signs, instructions, even the weather forecast off the TV and etc., aloud, your child will hear words and make a connection. He will see and hear how words are powerful, fun and descriptive while building his vocabulary and enjoyment for reading.
Remember, don't punish your child if they are not catching on to the joy of reading as quickly as you would like for them to -- it'll all work out as long as you stay calm. copy; 2005 Jodie Lynn Jodie Lynn is an award-winning internationally syndicated family/health columnist and radio personality. Parent to Parent ( www.ParentToParent.com) is now going into its tenth year and appears in newspapers, magazines, newsletters and throughout the Internet. Lynn has a regular family segment on radio programs, one of which is syndicated to over 20 stations. She has written two books and contributed to two others, one of which was on Oprah and has appeared on NBC in a three month parenting segment. Her latest best-selling parenting/family book is Mommy CEO, revised edition. Preorder Lynn's new book, "Mom CEO: Avoiding the Distressed Housewife Syndrome and Winning at Motherhood," online or from any bookstore. See www.ParentToParent.com for more details. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Relatives
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Watch The Weight Of Your Child's Backpack
Complaints about back and shoulder pain are increasingly common. Parents have every right to be concerned about how heavy their child's backpack is. In fact, overweight backpacks have been getting so much attention that April was declared National Backpack Safety Month by the Congress of Chiropractic State Associations. Children, mostly under age 14, are reporting backpack-related pains that result from repetitive strain#151;schlepping packs from home to bus to school to classrooms to bus to home several times a day, five days a week. They typical overstuffed backpack weighs in at about 14 pounds, which is often 15% or more of a child's body weight, and that's too much. The strain of leaning forward to support the load is causing painful necks and backs and even changes in posture. Symptoms can be so severe that the kids have to be treated in emergency rooms. Some kids have it even worse, hauling around packs that weigh as much as 40% of their body weight. Get out your calculator; If you had to lug 40% of your body weight in and out of cars and up and down stairs all day long you'd be in some serious pain too. Fortunately, there may be some ways to save our kids backs: - Weight your child's backpacks once in a while and keep it under 10% of his weight.
- Keep non-essentials to a minimum. Does your child really need to carry all those books at the same time? Will she use every one of them that day? If your child won't tell you, make a few calls to her teachers.
- Investigate whether your child can share books with one or more of his classmates. That way each kid can carry a smaller portion of the total load.
- If possible, arrange to have duplicate books at school. Or invest in a few paperbacks (particularly of literature books) and have your child keep the hard-covers at home.
- If your child really does have to carry a lot of books, at least be sure to get the right kind of backpack. Single-strap packs cause the most discomfort because they're carried on one shoulder, which means that the child is always leaning to one side. The best#151;and most comfortable packs#151;have two padded straps and an abdominal belt.
- Get a rolling backpack if your child's school allows it. Some don't though, because they're worried that students will get injured, trip, or fall over them in the classroom or the hallways. Why they aren't worried about the kids' backs is beyond me.
- Treat your child to a nice neck/shoulder/back massage.
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as 'the superdad's superdad, has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad's Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men's Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He's the host of 'Positive Parenting, a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Relationships, Relatives
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Fears Of A Clown
by Bob SchwartzThere are certain words spoken by a child that can send a shiver of panic through every parental nerve ending. I've discovered that the words causing the greatest consternation were not "Don't worry, the tattoos can always be removed with a laser" or "Can you believe putting in six eyebrow rings barely hurt?" Rather, the words which sent me quickly into a panic attack were, "My Gymbo's gone!" Most children, sometime in their early bedtime careers, take a liking to sleeping with a stuffed animal, cuddly clown, small blanket or even something out of the ordinary like one of my children's predilection for nightly embracing a deck of Rugrats Uno cards. Don't ask. Our son fell into the clown category, and while putting him to bed one night during a family vacation in Canada, we discovered the terrifying experience of finding that his Gymbo the clown was gone. Vanished. Without even a trace of stuffing left behind or a crayon scribbled note. After ransacking the room and coming up Gymboless, it was clear that he was most likely the victim of an involuntary dollnapping. We concluded he must have been inadvertently scooped up with the sheets that day by the hotel staff. Poor little Gymbo was lying innocently on the bed one minute and then, suddenly, his world was torn asunder with the disengagement of a fitted sheet. Apparently, he was abruptly wrapped up in the bed linen and tossed down that dark and seemingly never-ending chute to the basement laundry facility. He went from his sheltered suburban upbringing, to being quickly exposed to the giant underbelly of a hotel building. He was naively left to wonder what he'd done to be cast aside and jettisoned into the dungeon of the sheet and pillow case world he was then forced to call home. The immediate focus was damage control by one parent and Gymbo retrieval by the other. As our son broke out into hysterics, he made it painfully clear that no Gymbo for him meant no sleep. For everyone. And after a long day of nonstop vacationing movement, no sleep was simply an untenable concept for me. My wife quickly got connected to the hotel laundry room and explained the dire circumstances. She was advised that they'd not seen him yet, but amazingly, they requested she provide them a description of the victim. This caused us to immediately wonder just how many stuffed dolls they had lying in that basement. Was there some international black market for stuffed cuddly things going on down there? I grabbed the phone and interjected that we'd be able to pick him out of a lineup, so please just let us know how many cotton clowns they'd seen recently. Or perhaps they'd like us to come down and do a composite watercolor painting for them. I handed the phone back to my wife who patiently provided the laundry staff the unmistakable physical characteristics of a stuffed blue and yellow clown #151; a missing button on his body-hugging suspenders, frizzy red hair, a frayed right leg, about twelve inches long, a bow tie, and with an unwavering cat that ate the canary smile on his face. I felt very confident they wouldn't confuse him with a mattress pad. As we anxiously paced back and forth, the phone finally rang. In a thick French Canadian accent, the unemotional voice said, "Vee have located your clown." The words, spoken so solemnly yet somewhat muffled, forced me to become fearful they would next demand a ransom? Or, worse yet, advise us that after a violent fifty-minute foray in the tumble dryer his arm was hanging by a thread? My wife and I were so thankful that Gymbo was soon delivered to our door in one piece and wearing that same cockeyed grin, but to me, he had a little shell-shocked look. I could only think of the horrors he must have seen down below, tossed in amongst the giant spinning washer along with stained tablecloths and thrown about in the whirling dryers with a bath towel pressed against his face. We could only hope that the familiar rhythmic breathing of his sleeping owner in the footed pajamas would soon erase the memories of his emotionally charged excursion into the outside world. We did learn to avoid any unchaperoned Gymbo excursions in the future by tying one end of a shoelace around his waist and the other end around the bedpost each morning. I know that doesn't necessarily look all that loving, but hey, he never stops smiling. And it does eliminate one potential for bedtime parental panic. Once was enough #151; for all of us. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
More >>
|
| Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Family/Relationships - Adult Child/Parent, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Family, Military, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Politics, Relatives, Religion, Values
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Tips for Staying Fit and Healthy at Home
by Lesley Spencer, MSc; Founder President HBWM.com Inc.
http://www.HomeBasedWorkingMoms.comMany Americans these days are finding themselves out of shape and overweight. Why is that? The bottom line is we are taking in more calories than we are burning. It takes a conscious effort to reduce calories, eat healthier and get regular exercise. Exercise does not have to be a dreaded word either. The good news is that exercise gives you more energy, stress relief, better health, clearer focus, sharper mind, better sleep, better bone health, better sex life, and it decreases the risk of cancers, heart attacks and heart problems. Forget the benefits of just looking good and realize exercise not only makes you feel good, it can help you live a longer, healthier life. Here are some tips to get you on your way to a healthier lifestyle: - Put your workout clothes on first thing in the morning. You'll feel more "obligated" to exercise once you are dressed in your workout clothes.
- Use music to energize and motivate you to exercise. Get a few great CDs that energize you. Turn it up and jam out! The music will motivate you and help the time pass by more quickly!
- Always keep a water bottle and a healthy snack with you. When you get hungry, go for the healthy snack instead of heading to the pantry. Try to keep your water bottle full so that you can drink plenty of water throughout the day.
- Follow the two-bite rule. If there's something you absolutely must have, take two bites and be done! You'll get your fix and be proud of your will power to put it down!
- No time for exercise? Make a goal to walk for 30 minutes at least three times a week. You'll find if you make it a priority, you can fit it in. Try going right after breakfast or after taking your kids to school.
- Need to be motivated to exercise? Find one or two workout partners to motivate one another. If you don't have anyone near by, find a virtual workout buddy on the http://www.HBWM.com Self-Care message boards. Share successes, motivate one another and just enjoy doing something for yourself!
- Keep a diary of what you eat for a few days. Calculate your intake and decide where you should cut back. (You can find nutritional charts on the Mom's Assistant section of http://www.HBWM.com.)
- If you have cravings for something sweet, try eating something tart to curb the craving such as a pickle. If you crave crunchy salty snacks, try having an apple instead.
Take the leap. Commit to exercising a few days a week and before you know it, the benefits will be their own motivator! You will feel better, look better and be better. Lesley Spencer is founder and president of the HBWM.com, Inc. Network whichincludes: http://www.HomeBasedWorkingMoms.com, http://www.WorkAtHomeKit.com, http://www.edirectoryofhomebasedcareers.com, http://www.momsworkathomesite.com, http://www.HBWMconferences.com, http://www.HBWMcanada.com and http://www.HireMyMom.com (coming soon!). She has a Master's Degree in Public Relations and has been featured in numerous media outlets including CBS News, Forbes, Business Week, Parents, Wall Street Journal and USA Today. She has been working from home for over 10 years and has two children whom she absolutely adores! Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
More >>
|
| Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Family/Relationships - Family, Military, Parenting, Relatives, Values
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Discipline, not Punishment
By Anne LeedomIt's kind of tragic that just as we master the baby and toddler years we are thrown a whole new set of curves. Our kids grow and develop new and not always desirable behaviors and we now have to learn how to cope once again. So I set out to construct the perfect plan and I am proud to say it has stood the test, at least for now. Behavior battles seem to be at a minimum in our home. Based on information from a variety of experts, I have put into motion a strategy that should provide long term relief and a much happier and harmonious day. The Set UpLet's face it. We just push our kids too far. We stray from the routine to the point where even the most accommodating child will break. It could be preventing them from getting their rest, letting them get too hungry, asking them to be overly patient while we do our errands, chores or work, or providing so much fun and stimulation that they simply go on overload. This is a critical element to watch, or you will have the perfect situation for the ultimate tantrum. Watch the BarometerWithout warning kids can suddenly hit their limits and patience begins to wane rapidly. Too often parents try to dictate in this moment how they want their child to behave. Unfortunately, the barometer is rising and our wishes will almost certainly fall on deaf and increasingly angry ears. As soon as you notice the struggle, begin to take the child aside to a quiet location and try to reason with them. For example, 'I don't want to take a bath can become a conversation about whether to take a bath or shower. In these crucial early moments, giving kids a small choice can go a long way toward preventing a potential meltdown. Change the CourseEven the most prepared parent will encounter those horrid moments when kids are just going to wail. The key in this moment is to move past the moment as quickly and quietly as possible. Deciding to give them a bath in the morning instead of right at that moment or letting your child read in bed with the door closed for five more minutes will almost certainly restore harmony. Sure, you may not be able to expedite the plan you had in mind, but the goal is to work together. It's not about giving your child control; it's about giving your child some control. Disciplining your child is a team effort. You need to involve your child in the solution so they are more willing to cooperate. Parents who raise kids in this manner have kids who will cooperate more often than not. The battles are over before they begin and you will not be caught wondering what to do when those difficult moments arise. Keep in MindNo one reacts well to the word 'no . There are dozens of ways we can say no without over-using this word. Simply saying, 'Gee, that's a thought. I will think about that, has a completely different sound to a child. Kids know when we mean no. But once again, they like to feel they are being considered in the process. A little tact is another key ingredient to raising kids with at least a few less tantrums. Ultimately, these strategies give parents something we all long for. We want to feel like we can actually overcome the battles and feel like we have won, but not at the expense of our kids' love and respect. Discipline that empowers the parent and the child is a winning formula for the long haul. Anne Leedom is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of www.parentingbookmark.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Family/Relationships - Family, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Relatives
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Trust Your Heart
By The Love Goddess
www.thelovegoddess.com
Dear Love Goddess: I keep going outwith men who look great, have good jobs, etc., but who are really,really strange once they're in a relationship. I KNOW this is nottrue of all men, but of the men I'm choosing#133;.but is there a way ofspotting these guys? -Miserable Earth Girl
A. Dear Miserable Earth Girl: Spotting men unfit for human consumptionfrom afar by just looking at them? No. They do not, unfortunately, wearsigns saying, "I'm a loser and a creep." They can look reallygood. They can sound really good. They often, in fact, look and soundbetter than the really terrific guys do, because they've madeincredible adjustments to the fact that they ARE losers and creeps (andthey do know it; they've been told by untold numbers of women) and knowthey have something to hide. So they make an extra effort to look good,sound good, come on to you politely#151;and often aggressively-- seemincredibly interested, promise a good time, and so forth...all thethings they hope will ensure that you'll go out with them. But despitetheir camouflage, there are two sure ways to tell which men are likelyto turn out, as you put it, "really, really strange."
First, you really must trust your instincts. How do you feel whenyou're with him? Do you feel good#133;.or anxious? Do you have the sensethat you're really connecting#133;.or that you really want to butaren't? Does he seem too aggressive, too sure that you're the oneand only, too pushy about making a date? Pay attention to yourgut....it is inevitably right. Then, if you make a date, does he alwaysshow up late, leaving you a little miffed? Does he always expect you tocook? Does he bring wine, or offer to cook or take you out? Do you feela little on edge, or like a drag? Do you find yourself constantlywishing you (or he) were in a better mood?
Next, how do you feel between dates with him? Does he check in to sayhe had a nice time; to see when you'll meet again, or does he kind ofdisappear for days or weeks? Does it feel as if the relationship isgetting traction#133;.or do you a have the sense, each time you see him,that you're starting from square one? Does he disappear? Is his life asecret? Does he seem to want what you want in this relationship or doyou have the sense that you're always trying either to make him comecloser or to get him to back off somewhat? Does he seem to behaving trouble being involved with you#133;.as if it's not something thathe truly enjoys; not something he can keep up without being giveninstructions? Do you have the sense that he's peddling something ("I really want marriage and a family with a woman like you") that hecan't deliver ("I think I'm going to spend next year in Alaska"). Hashe been in a long-term relationship?
I know you can't answer all these questions, and my aim is not to haveyou drill him. I just know that the hardest thing to learn is to trustyour gut about someone. So listen to your inner voice, and then to goby what a man DOES, not what he says. It's so hard to resist thecompelling urge to make him become someone you want him to be when thesigns point to the fact that he never was and never will be. Thesigns, I believe, are inevitably there. But they're not visible on hisperson; they're telegraphed subtly, and can only be felt by you by yourown senses, your own heart.
Dalma Heyn, M.S.W., Founder of The Love Goddess, is the author ofseveral bestselling books on marriage and relationships. Dalma is awidely read columnist and sought-after speaker. She hasappeare--without her wings--on national talk shows including Oprah, The View, Charlie Rose, GoodMorning America, and Larry King Live. For more information visitwww.thelovegoddess.com or www.dalmaheyn.net. Permission granted foruse onDrLaura.com
More >>
|
| Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Family/Relationships - Family, Parenting, Relatives, Values
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Ditch the Negative Drama
By Winn Claybaugh
www.beniceorelse.com
Years ago, a lovely woman who works for me made it almost a dailyritual to tell me all the negative drama and complaints from people atmy business. She truly believed she was doing me a favor, and I thinkshe thought it was a compliment that people brought her their problemsand complaints.
One day I asked her, "Why are you so available for this information?Why do so many people want to dump their negative drama onto you?"After a long conversation and a reminder about our company's veryeffective and positive system for expressing grievances, she finallyrealized she was not helpingthe individuals work out their problems, she was not bringing me information I coulduse, and she was instead bringing stress and bitterness upon herselfand her coworkers. This lovely woman is now no longer available fornegative gossip and drama.
To eliminate stress from your workplace, try these four ideas forreplacing stress-producing drama with fun, positive activities.
1. Create a "Caught Ya" board.Whenever a staff member sees a coworker doing something wonderful,they're encouraged to "write them up." A "Caught Ya!" message couldread something like, "To Derrick: Thanks for surprising me by cleaningup the stockroom." Keep preprinted "Caught Ya" cards near your boardand display it in the lunch area or break room where the "spoons"usually hang out-people who are back there stirring things up.
2.What's on your bulletin board? Take down anything negative andpost stories of hope and inspiration for everyone to see.
3.Devote time to a favorite charity. Doing something good forsomeone else brings your company together as a team and helpsindividuals step outside their own drama.
4.Give people something to laugh about! It's a medical fact thatstress can lead to ulcers and other unfavorable physical calamities.When people laugh and have fun, their bodies release endorphins-the ultimate "naturalhigh." Give your team a daily dose of healthfulness by making yourworkplace fun.
As a leader, you have choices in life. You can spend your day lookingfor problems, and guess what you'll find? Or you can spend your daylooking for reasons to celebrate your fellow team members. At the endof the day, you can go home feeling drained, exhausted, and bitterbecause of all the problems you discovered, or you can go home feelingenergized and grateful because you spent your day focusing on thingsthat empower both yourself and your team. The second choice makes you avisionary leader. Which type would you rather be?
Winn Claybaugh is the author ofBe Nice (Or Else!) and "one ofthe best motivational speakers in the country," according to CNN'sLarry King. A business owner for over 25 years with over 8,000 peoplein his organization, Winn is the co-owner of hair care giant PaulMitchell's school division. Winn has helped thousands of businessesbuild their brands and create successful working cultures. His clientsinclude Southwest Airlines, the Irvine Company, Vidal Sassoon,Entertainment Tonight, Mattel, ForRent magazine, Structure/Limited/Express, and others. Winn is afrequent guest on national radio and a regular contributor to onlinepublications. Visit www.BeNiceOrElse.com to sign up for his free monthly Be Nice (Or Else!) newsletter. Permission granted for use onDrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Family, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Relatives, Values
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
07/27/2010
Simple Avocado MangoSalad
By Cheryl Tallman
www.FreshBaby.com
Ingredients:
Salad:
1 avocado, cubed
1/2 mango, cubed
1 graham cracker, crushed
Honey-Lime Dressing:
2 Tbsp lime juice
1 Tbsp rice vinegar
1Tbsp Honey
1/4 cup olive oil
Directions:
Prepare dressing: In small bowl, whisk all ingredients together.
Salad: Arrange avocado and mango cubes on a plate or bowl. Drizzle withdressing. Sprinkle with graham cracker crumbs. Serve.
Cheryl Tallman is the co-founder of Fresh Baby, creators of theaward-winning So Easy Baby Food Kit, and author of the So Easy Baby Food Basics: Homemade BabyFood in Less Than 30 Minutes Per Week and So Easy Toddler Food: Survival Tips andSimple Recipes for the Toddler Years. Visit Cheryl online at www.FreshBaby.com for more delicious tips. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
More >>
|
| Tags: Character, Courage, Conscience, Character-Courage-Conscience, Family/Relationships - Children, Family/Relationships - Family, Men's Point of View, Morals, Ethics, Values, Parenting, Relatives, Values, Women's Point of View
|
| PERMALINK |
EMAIL | PRINT | RSS |
|
|
|
