Dr. Laura,
I am my three kids' stay-at-home mom. They are ages 13, 12, and 9. I wasn't always a stay-at-home mom. I used to think that a career was what I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 18. He was 20 at the time and a United States Marine. Yes, we were young, but mature. That is not to say I didn't act stupid every now and again. I know you don't recommend young people getting married, neither do I, but we were meant to be. I couldn't have picked better, and I thank God every day for my knight in shining armor.
I became pregnant after two years of marriage. I quit college and worked more to save up. My husband cautiously brought up me staying home with our son. I refused, and he didn't pressure me. I had dreams and goals, and that didn't include being a stay-at-home mommy. Needless to say, the entire week before I had to take my son to a day care I bawled my eyes out. By that point, since we hadn't planned on me staying home (because of my idiotic feminist mind set), we couldn't afford to do it. My husband felt horrible, and I felt like a total failure as a mother. It broke my heart every day taking him to day care. My husband and I did everything we could to make sure one of us was home with the kids. We worked odd shifts, saved money, and my husband went back to school for his degree. When our third child was born, I was finally able to live my dream. No, not being a career woman...being a stay-at-home mom! My husband was so excited to be able to make this happen.
For the past nine years he has worked to "bring home the bacon." I am more than happy to cook the bacon, clean the pans, and wash the greasy laundry! I don't expect my man to lift a finger around the house. Funny, even though it isn't expected, he still helps out. He doesn't like me to mow the lawn or scoop the driveway. Our boys have seen this and refuse to allow me to do those jobs either. They will grab the shovel or mower before I ever even have to think about it! I only hope that they find wives who cherish that about them.
I read your Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. My husband said I didn't have anywhere to improve on. I love that man! I told him I wanted to make sure there wasn't more I could do to make him happy. He responded as a typical male...with the bedroom eyes. I was more than happy to oblige. I don't want my man thinking he can have it better somewhere else! He can have everything he wants right here at home. I only wish more women would make their husbands feel loved, wanted, and thoroughly desired! Wouldn't the world be a better place!
I just want to thank you for everything you stand for and vocalize. I have become the woman I am today because of listening to you and reading your many books. By the way, my daughter's dream is to be a stay-at-home mom. I am thrilled! I couldn't be more proud of her.
Thank you,
Christine