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05/12/2014
My brother-in-law (my husband's sister's husband) cheated on her when he was deployed overseas in the Navy. After the initial shock and blow-up, she decided she would forgive him and they would reconcile because they had two young kids. Now, four years later, they are going through the most awful, nasty divorce because he cheated a second time. Turns out, she had slept with him twice in an entire year when he first cheated. After she "forgave" him, she continually brought up the infidelity on a daily basis. He had to give her all of his passwords. She checked everything on a daily basis. She was not nice or kind to him ever. She made his life miserable. She is not innocent by any means.
I know enough about caring and feeding for one's husband that you don't withhold sex for two years and not expect there to be consequences. Also, you don't tell someone you forgive them and torture them on a daily basis. That's not forgiveness. In this case, the children are suffering terribly. One of them has pulled all of their eyebrows out and pulled their hair until there is a bald spot. The other one bangs their head against the wall when they change houses each week.
When we took our marriage vows, we were never told it would be easy. Sometimes, you don't always "love" each other. This is the person you decided to marry and have children with. The kids didn't pick you for parents, you picked the one you wanted to be their parent. Sometimes, there are causes for divorce that can't be avoided. I believe you should try to rise above all of the hate that you feel and love the innocent caught in the middle. Decisions should be made with their best interests in mind, not yours.
Tammy
BTW - I have been taught to 'properly care and feed my husband'. He may have complaints at times; however, the good far outweighs the bad. Also, I am 'my kids' mom' and when you see my 14 and 12-year-olds around those who grew up in day care, you can tell the difference!!
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