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Letters From Listeners

Child Abuse: It's Awful, Painful, Shameful and More

If you haven't been through it, there is no way to describe it. It's awful, it's painful, it's shameful - I can't think of enough "ful" words.

For me, it was my father - yes, my biological father, who is now known only as "my sperm donor". It started when I was 11, just developing. My father was in the Navy and had been away most of my life. I was starting to develop, and suddenly there was a stranger living in the house. It started with bribes and just got more blatant as time went on. It lasted 3 years.

One day, I saw a movie in sex-ed on molestation. Afterward I went to the teacher and said how gross that was with a stranger, but it's ok if it's your dad, right? Luckily, she called the police. My father was arrested, forced to quit the Navy (he was given an honorable discharge!), and I became a ward of the state. Eventually, my mother sided with my father and told me it would have been fine if I had just come to her. Turns out she knew all along! I had to go to court and I had a judge ask me "How could you let this happen?" This was back in 1969. I know much has changed since that time, but we have GOT to learn that the kids ARE NOT AT FAULT!!!

I had sadness for years, knowing I had nobody to depend on (no mother, no father); and I carried the feeling I would never amount to anything. I married a man when I was 18, basically my father - another abuser. Two kids later, I started learning I was ok and needed to correct my mistake. Yes, I chose poorly. My kids turned out to be great adults.

Nine years ago, I met and married the best man on the planet. Sometimes horror stories do turn out well. Dr. Laura, please keep preaching we need to do the right thing! Parents need to be parents, and kids need to be kids. Maybe someday society will learn that. We need to protect our children, not defile them. We need to prosecute the defilers, NOT protect them. Thanks so much for listening.

D., my husband's girlfriend!
And Loving it!!!

Tags: Abuse, Child Abuse, Response to a Call, Social Issues, Values
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