I don't know if everyone experiences cold feet for at least a moment before their wedding, but I think it was healthy for me to have a brush with it. My fiancé and I had been dating over a year and a half, and we were wildly in love. Our parish priest, impressed with our maturity, voiced his prediction that we would be long-time happily wed. Still, in the midst of wedding planning, only a few months before the big day, I remember wondering if I would always love my fiancé to the extent that I loved him that day. I worried that the love might fade and I would feel stuck with someone for whom I had only lukewarm feelings.
I chose to push the feelings aside, but they still crept around my brain until we attended a marriage preparation course mandated by our church. During the course, one speaker addressed this fear head on. She said, "Love is not a thing that is “there” or “not there.” It is an action that you choose to do or not to do. Every day, when you wake up, you choose to love or not to love."
These words were a balm to my fears! I was now in charge of love in my life, and all I had to do was choose to love! A love can't fade when you renew it each day! And I did! Thankfully, I also chose wisely. It's now twenty-five years since I walked down the aisle toward my groom without a hint of trepidation, and we are more deeply "in love" (or better put, "loving each other") than ever.
For those hearing this who suspect it's been easy, the answer is NOPE! We've had significant trials in our family, but choosing to turn to each other with love each day has been the key to surviving those burdens with a deep-seated sense of joy intact, even at the end of a long, hard day.
Thanks, Dr. Laura, for the many "ways to love" we've added to our repertoire by just listening to you over the years.
Nannette
